26 AUGUST 2006

好累啊~！！！！

工作工作。。。功课功课。。。ASSIGNMENT ASSIGNMENT。。。哇~！！！
好多啊！！！哈哈。。。可是。。。我很开心~有得工作。。可以和朋友。。开心开心。。呵呵。。COLLEGE又很开心。。呵呵。。可是好累啊~！！太多了。。我怕赶不到。。

今天在几个老板面前和SUPERVISOR吵了起来。。呵呵。。有些光荣。。也有些对不起。。哈哈。。好忙的一天。。太多东西要做。。头发长了。。有没有时间减。。想找人去SHOPPING买东西。。可是时间。。。。不允许。。。T.T

haiz...算了。。。为了一些东西。。我得牺牲东西。。。哈哈。。

another post for today

haha... to reply You Heng's post.. another blog is born!! haha...

erm.. childish.. is not a bad thing.. din say it is not a good thing.. erm.. i just dun wanna be childish.. tats all... m i trying to act like i m mature??? duno actually.. but i m trying hard to be mature.. although i noe mature comes along with experience n time.. its not tat i wan then i can get de.. so i will let time tell me.. ^^

well.. You heng.. u r not tat childish anymore.. at least to me.. u have become mature though... hehe... its really good... geng o... u have improve a lot.. in a lot of things.. haaha...

love... maybe to u is lidat.. n it is suppose to be lidat.. i agree with u... but sometimes u wont think lidat.. if u r me.. haha... the situation is diff... ngek ngek... revenge of Desmond the GREAT is coming!!! be prepare!! i wont revenge just lidat... wud become one very GENG de guy... which everyone adores.. WOW.. haha.. then i wan all those hu had hurt me or mistreat me, regret!!!MUAHAHHAHAHHA.. i wil stress u... make u wanna die when u r alive..i m EVIL!!!

21 August 2006

哈哈。。原来一切都是梦幻。。。一切都是幻想。。。。一切一切都没有了。。。原来这‘世界’根本没有真爱！！！

我不要再做天真幼稚的自己！！我要变得更成熟！！！让你们那些错过我的人好看！！我要你们后悔！！我要把自己提升！！！

如果没有错误。。。下星期开始。。我会天天工作和读书。。。让自己没有空间和时间想其他的。。。逃避？？哈哈。。算是吧。。。可是这样能够把自己提升。。。对我的未来有帮助。。。所以我不怕！！我要你们全部后悔！！！

我不要再孩子气！！不要再给你们看低！！！！

Immediate Vacancy!!

Free Zone Cafe at Kuchai enterpreneurs park is hiring waitress n bartender.. from mon till fri de shift.. anyone interested pls inform me. i m working there too.. ^^

its urgent o ^^

A master economist

According to Lord Keynes....A master economist fulfill a set of attributes more extraordinary than those needed for knighthood or even sainthood:

He must be mathematician, historian, statesman, philosopher... he must contemplate the particular in terms of the general, and touch abstract and concrete in the same flight of thought. He muststudy the present in the light of the ast for the purposes of the future. No part of man's nature or his institutions must lie entirely outside his regard. He must be purposeful and disinterested in a simultaneous mood; as aloof and incorruptible as an artist, yet sometimes as near the earth as a politician....

17 August 2006

今天终於鼓起勇气去找他了。。。

我毫无目的去到了1UTAMA去找他。。根本不知道在哪里。。。做什么工。。哈哈。。走了好久。。。皇天不负苦心人。。最后终於找到他了。。可是我不敢。。。所以就在他前面徘徊。。希望他能够察觉我。。好久偶。。还没有发觉我。。。当我放弃要离开时。。他就看见了我。。就这样。。我们就聊了起来。。哈哈。。就这样。。我们就认识了彼此。。。好高兴啊！！哈哈。。

16 August 2006

今天很开心啊。。呵呵。。

一如既往，我都是在KBU等巴士到LRT STATION 去的。。通常巴士是从KBU去1 UTAMA去，然后才到LRT。。好不容易等到巴士来了后，就高高兴兴的上巴士去。。

当我上巴士时。。我看到了一个熟悉的脸孔。。。有少许的兴奋。。因为这个人。。。我上个星期搭巴士时看见的人。。那时人很多。。我就站在比较接近他。。然后呢。。我发觉他一直望着我。。我也不输他！！所以就望回他。。他顿时害羞起来。。脸红了。。好可爱。。哈哈。。过后他一直头望我。。我也是如此。。过后。。他就下巴士了。。

今天。。也是如此。。我特地站靠近他。。哈哈。。然后我们就互相微笑和望着对方。。呵呵。。今天的巴士司机好像感时间。。弄得我差点扑了一交。。哈哈。。还是去他的方向呢！！哈哈。。过后要下巴士时。。他就等其他人下了后才下。。我却要继续在巴士里等待。。因为人潮。。所以我就站的更靠近他。。然后。。他的手摸了我的脚。。他应该要叫我吧！我吓了一跳。。就向前走了。。当我回头看他时。。已经下了巴士。。。我的心。。跳的很快。。不是害怕。。而是兴奋。。呵呵。。他真的好可爱啊。。哈哈。。

我好想认识他啊。。如果还有遇见他。。我一定把握这机会去认识他！！哈哈。。。真希望能再次遇见他。。。。>.<" 这是缘分吗？？哈哈。。

15 August 2006

事情相隔了很久。。1个月吧！ 哈哈。。。

我还以为那感觉会消失。。可是。。到现在我还是想念着他。。。我尝试去忘记。。尝试去远离。。我都不成功。。今天当我和他聊起他的另一半时。。我的心依然还在痛。。。心酸酸的感觉。。。我真的对他还有感觉还是忘记不了吗？？我时常逛街或想要做什么事情。。都会想起他。。。有什么东西， 都会想要和他分享。。我。。真的不知道要如何做啊！！！我时常对他说祝他和另一半开心、幸福。。。我心里真的这么认为吗？？好矛盾啊！！我不知道我在想什么！！！
好想逃避。。。。。。。。
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我快承受不了了。。。。。。。。。

11th August 2006

hhmmm.. kinda sad.. n happy.. haha..

sad bcoz my cute nephew go back to paris lu....aiyoyo...

happy coz tat i got a job!!! hehe.. onli work on fri, sat n sun.. hehe.. as a waiter in a cafe near my house here.. ^^.. if work nite shift.. i sure die.. coz until 2/3 am.. haha... at 1st tot of being a bartender de... but... the manager aks me tat time.. i say anything.. haha.. then i got into waiter liao.. haha.. hhmmm.. there de waiter have to chat with customers de.. hhmmmm.. duno leh.. tis sun start work liao lo.. wish me luck!!!

hehe... aiyo.. sunday class have to stop liao... ><"... sad... coz if i go class then i sure extremely tired de.. ><.. ooo.. y i work??? coz i need extra money lo.. haha.. to get myself a new laptop!!! haha... yay.. laptop here i come~~

tata.. take k o...muackz

6th August 06

WoW... bloggy... it been one week i din come n talk to u jor..

i have been bz doin assignments n homework n preparing for test.. aiks... hate it.. haiz... work work work.. non stop nia.. everyday do till bout 2 / 3 am.. aiyo.. non enuf sleep coz need to wake up at 6am... then comes back from college onli bout 7/8 pm.. tiring days...

yesterday i studied n studied n do assignments till bout 5am... then i forgot to set alarm clock coz i need to go to the temple tis morning... so i woke up onli bout 2pm.. sad... sorry KC... AGAIN.. went to sg wang bout 5pm for dinner... coz my cousin from paris wanna shop..my family brought them there..i went to meet them for dinner.. then i realise tat today GARY 曹格 is having promo tour at sg wang!!!! aiks.. i forgot to redeem tickets.. coz i wanna buy the cd.. but no money to buy it yet ..sad.. tis month PK liao... hu wanna sponsor?? haha.. just jk... well i heard him singing form the outside there.. hehe...so happy n disappointed at the same time..

hhmmm..tml got eng test... i think i have mastered the Verb Tenses.. erm.. not fully yet.. but i think i still can differentiate it.. hehe... but its kinda confusing with it.. after so many years of eng studies.. now onli i knew wat verb tenses are n wat they do.. haha..funny eh?? hehe.. hope tat i can pass the test tml..*finger crossed*

okie dokie bloggy.. i wan go study liao.. see ya...

30 JULY 2006

bloggy bloggy~

hehe.. few days din talk to u liao lo... so sorry... coz my cousins from paris came to visit us for 2 weeks nia... so its not so convenient to tlak to u.. n use the com.. aiks.. i have to do all my homework n assignments late at nite.. where nobody can kacau me..whole house got so many ppl staying.. my house so small fitting 10 ppl nia!!! aiks..

today can blog coz they went to tioman liao.. hehe.. yesterday b4 they leave.. my cousin bro.. just a lil kid.. he hug me so long nia.. for bout 15 minutes. dun wan let go of me.. he say he will hang on to me.. till i go with him.. haha... then i have to carry him to the car.. n pull him away from him.. hehe.. i think he too miss me liao.. coz i m so good to him.. haha... i think he got cry a bit coz my shoulder got a bit wet wet...

today went to temple o... late liao .. coz cant find my bag... aiks.. then went back home early to work on my homework & assignments~ aiyoyoyoyo... sad nia...so tired o... now my eyes like kenot open lidat... >.< steal a bit of time to talk to u bloggy.. hehe... okie.. gotta go...

26 JULY 2006

actually tis post shud be 26th of JULY.. i was doin my homework till i forgot bout blogging.. haha.. well.. i saw ai wei's blog.. then it struck me!!! i can talk to my blog as its alive n my best pal!! haha..cool.. so i m goin to do tat.. everyday if possible.. hehe..

today.. business maths was so boring.. i totally cant understand wat tat cute lect teach.. well.. nobody does.. haha.. she just say tis tis tis n u will end up with tis tis tis.. got it class?? haha.. tats it.. then do homework.. my fren all ask me.. then i wud be very grumpy n scolded them back.. just like YK did to me when i ask her bout maths.. ^^

next was econs.. OMG the hamsup lect.. quite funnny though.. haha.. tis is wat i learn bout interrelationships between markets... tis is the thing!

College...

hehe.. suddenly feel like blogging again.. yay...

college life is FUN + tiring.. hehe..
duno leh.. just tat i felt i m so happy.. noe so many frenz... i know a lot of new fren there... my class... 20 ppl onli.. hehe.. i m kinda like a dai lou... not again... haha... but not the class rep la.. my class is very fun... i can see unity... see every classes... including mine.. i eman business course de.. as i know.. i dun see design or engineering course or a levels de class is as fun as ours.. haha... we are enjoying ourselves..

all our lecturers are all very funny... very cute indeed.. hehe.. they like to joke.. they tell us stories.. lots of it.. which are useful for us.. to make the classes not so boring.. its just like.. erm... telling some stories.. which related to wat we learn.. hehe.. so tat we can remember it better.. it works!!! haha.. my math lect is like a kid.. we always tease her eng... haha.. n she always go ->'aiyo.. nolar..yer...' just like a kid would do.. haha.. eng lect its FUN.. haha.. we are like frenz rather than lecturer n student... econs lect is the hamsup guy.. haha.. also very FUNNY.. he is the funniest lecturer in KBU.. tats wat they say.. computer lect is a leng lui.. hehe.. quite funny.. she tells us a lot of stuff.. inside stuff..haha... acc lect.. i tot she might be like chooms.. but.. haha.. tis is more geng... hehe.. senior lect.. the most dedicated.. haha.. she is funny too.. not cold tat kind of funny.. tats all for my 1st sem.. hehe..

i had a lot of fun... we are goin to come up with a class song.. class slogan.. cheers.. n stuff... hehe.. a lot of leng lui n leng zai in my class.. plus got a cute me.. haha.. in my colelge a lot fo them are rich n pretty n handsome.. haha.. geng.. hehe.. i really like my college.. for the time being la... its kinda hard to catch up.. coz the way they teach really fast.. lucky i had my basic done.. well enuf i can say.. haha.. if not i dun think i can handle it.. i m the dai lou.. i m not the noisiest.. ahha.. coz i always sleep in class..listens to my mp3.. but after class. i m the noisest n most frendly guy.. hehe...

i learn a lot in college... those things tat they teach.. really... wow.. tis is wat ppl will tell n teach us when they think we are goin to be mature.. ahha.. its hell of a diff.. the things they say.. erm.. like... nice lor.. haha.. being mature.. hehe.. mature thinking.. hehe...sot jor la me.. haha..

Your Deadly Sins

Gluttony: 100%

Greed: 100%

Lust: 100%

Pride: 100%

Envy: 80%

Sloth: 80%

Wrath: 60%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 89%

You'll die from food poisoning - and then the natives will feast on your fatty limbs.

How Sinful Are You?

On Average, You Would Sell Out For

$1,071,814

At What Price Would You Sell Out?

People Envy Your Ingenuity

You're a person with unique ideas, big plans, and a zany outlook on life. Many people look to you for inspiration.People envy your creativity and "who cares?" attitude. They feel very ordinary next to you - and they usually are!

What Do People Envy About You?

You Are Super Spicy

You're a little bit crazy, a little bit naughty, and a whole lot of sexy.You go beyond hot - you set people's senses on fire!

Are You Hot?

You're a Depressed Drunk

You know that distinct taste of tears and vodka real well.

What Kind of Drunk Are You?

You Are 80% Evil

You are very evil. And you're too evil to care.Those who love you probably also fear you. A lot.

How Evil Are You?

You Are 88% Open Minded

You are so open minded that your brain may have fallen out!Well, not really. But you may be confused on where you stand.You don't have a judgemental bone in your body, and you're very accepting.You enjoy the best of every life philosophy, even if you sometimes contradict yourself.

How Open Minded Are You?

You Are 70% Boyish and 30% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch.Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them.You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

一個無法完成的諾言.....六年了......

突然很想BLOG。。。。所以。。。就写了这贴。。。。其实。。。。我想和你们分享一个真人真事。。。阅读这故事后，我的泪流了出来。。。真的很感人。。。能打动人心。。。。我想借此贴告诉大家珍惜眼前一切。。因为人在这世上仅仅只活那么的短短的几十年。。希望大家珍惜身边的人与事和把握一切机会。。要作什么就去做吧。。不要为此而后悔。。只在乎曾经拥有，不在乎天长地久。。因为世上没有几个人和事是可以永远的留传下来..

这就是他的故事。。。。



一個無法完成的諾言.....六年了......
夜深了,,兩點多了,外面下著雨下得好大.今天五月七日平凡的一天但是現在的心情仿佛沒有什麼?記得六年前我在下著大雨的那天晚上有個我刻骨酩心的回憶.六年多前我像一般的上班族一樣的上下班,每天過著一樣的生活.記得那晚上我走在星光大道的路上,,,,那時候沒有星光大道但是不比現在差.每次經過BUKIT BINTANG的KFC時候我的心情總是在痛.那晚下斑了就走在那路上,,,走得比較急因為想早點買了KENTUCKY趕快回家.當我來到門口時候有個少年個子小瘦小的在推門,本來他應該把門拉而不是推,,,,就這樣把我撞個正著.我被他撞的很痛而他的KENTUCKY那不穩跌一地,,,,,,,看來也不能吃了.他很慌張的對我說了聲對不起還很委屈的看著我.原來他很很好看長的得很俊俏.,,,,,,,其實我反而覺得應該賠賞他掉在地上的炸雞,,,然後就進去買了出來給他.把炸雞交到他手上他連忙道了個謝就趕快的過了馬路到對面的巴士亭.我就進回去買我的炸雞,,出來看看手上的錶已經十一點五十分了,,他還站在巴士亭,,,我問他幹嘛還不回家?他說巴士趕不及了走了!然後我問他到底你住那裡呢?他說住在舊巴生路的快樂花園.....我說不如這樣我給你十塊錢你搭計程車回家吧!他接過了錢就向我拿了手機號碼道了個謝就搭車走了......我目送他遠去......就這樣過了几個星期,,,而我也沒有把這雞毛蒜皮的事情放在心上...我還很清楚記得在八月二十九號時候他來點了,,,約了我晚上八點在同樣的地方見面....我其實沒有什麼期待還是很高興的樣子....就答應了晚上見....我到了等了五分鐘左右看見了他在對面的馬路走過來,,,第一次看清楚了他.....原來他把頭髮剪短了,,,那雙眼很可愛,,,修長的臉蛋兒滑溜溜的,,,,那個笑容是我看見最真最燦爛的笑容.我們互相望了一下就哦了一聲,,,他先開口說,,,,,嘿,,要喝水嗎?我說好吧...然後就去對面的STARBUCK暍咖啡.就這樣的在那裡談天說地的過了兩個小時,,,最後他把十塊錢給我說還我,,,但是我說不要啦,,,,就當是賠償你的炸雞....就這樣我們斷斷續續的相約出來暍茶談天過了兩個多月,,後來進化到他星期六就來我家借宿星期日就回家...他還介紹了他媽媽給我認識,,,我們也挺好談的說,,,,,他媽媽是保險公司的高層,,,我還幫他買了保險,,,我還叫他媽媽姐姐呢!..我們混得很熟..他時常來過夜而他媽媽也沒有說什麼?有一天的晚上我們吃了東西在回來時候下了很大的雨,,,我們洗了澡就上床睡覺,,在凌晨兩點我覺得很冷就叫他起來關冷氣,,,但是他賴皮的說你關吧你起來比較近.那時我們誰也沒有要起來的念頭,,,因為我懶得起來關冷氣,,,我就拉被來蓋而他也在拉被,,,我又拉他又拉,,,拉來拉去一個不小心的連他也給拉了過來,,,,因為他很輕,,身高172才42KG,,,那裡知刀拉了他在我身上,,,我們的距離才几公分,,他的臉離開我的臉才一個CM左右,,我還說了聲活該,,,他回應了我說你也活該,,也許說話的動作太大他的嘴唇動到了我的嘴唇,,,我就親了他一下,,,他漲紅了臉也親了下來,,,,那一夜我抱著他睡,,,,醒來時他害羞的說了聲,,,昨晚你壞蛋...未來的日子我們就像往常一樣接他放學帶他去吃飯,,,因為他的學校離開我辦公的地方很近,,,有空時候就買了東西煮給他吃晚上幫他蓋被,,,因為他有時候在我家几天,,小住几天....好憬不再...我記得那天他說回家拿點東西,,,因為會考時要用到的東西,,,他在下午六點就回家了,,,在晚上八點半左右他媽媽來電了說,,,,,你千萬要冷靜,,,我說好,,,其實他媽媽更加的冷靜,,,因為他將要失去她的孩子她很堅強,,,她說恩恩給車撞倒了現在在PANTAI醫院,,,,其實他叫謝子恩所以我叫他恩恩的...我就飛快的去了醫院,,,從外表看來他還很清醒外表沒有什麼,,,連傷痕也沒有.我坐在床邊問他怎樣了?痛嗎?那裡不舒服?他笑了笑說,,,我考完了試你說要和我去看白茫茫的雪地,,,記得哦別賴皮哦!我說好,,,那你就趕快好起來,,,出院了我們就去,,,那時候我看見他媽媽強忍的淚水終於掉下,,,他說很冷叫我抱著他,,,但是我怕他媽媽懷疑我們的關係,,,,,他媽媽說都什麼時候了你還在想什麼?我就抱著他,,,他說很冷很冷,,,我那個時候已經不知道臉上的是汗水還是淚水,,我緊緊抱著他,,,我感覺到他的體溫慢慢的冷了下來,,,那個時候我不知道什麼了...我跌坐在地上,,我知道我將永遠失去了他.往後的日子里我像行尸走肉的一段日子....我層經自殺過,,,經過了這些年來我學會了體諒,,,學會了,,,站起來,,,因為他層經說過一句話,,,,,黑夜過去了黎明還會遠嗎?......今夜這場大雨沒有把我的思念沖洗去,,,因為他永遠都在我心中,,,大雨沖洗去的只是過去,,,,

SCHOOLING!!!!!COLLEGE+ING!!!

Haihz!!!! VERY FAN AR!!!!!

i duno if i shud go for college or not?? i cant decide leh.. i noe i m running out of time.. n everyone is fed up listening to me about colleges n stuff.. haihz.. i oso duno leh..

based on my financial background n family background.. i think its better for me to go form 6 n go to Uni.. actually i wanna go to Uni.. its one of my wishes to go into a Uni leh... but i dun wanna go to form 6.. i duno y.. it just freaks me out... haihz.. the other alternatif is go into matriculation.. but i had miss my chance at it!!! aiks.. y din i get to noe wats matri last time?? so other one is go to college lor.. onli stamford got full scholarship for me.. erm.. actually i din apply much.. n ktar n utar n those college tat hav the free waiver thing de.. i mean auto free waiver de.. i dun feel like goin to college.. the amount of money is too much.. i cant take it.. haihz..

u guys might think my parents can de... lidat lar.. sure can de.. they got plans de.. tell u the truth : THEY CANT!!!! i had discuss with them LOTS of time d.. haihz.. plus.. shud i choose accounting program?? coz a lot of ppl ask me to do it.. u noe me lar.. my basic accounting skills is not tat good.. n i dun really like accounting.. so how do i goin to cope with it n score?? they told me tat interest can b accumulate... i duno.. is there any subject is accounting + admin + marketing??? i noe its a 3major degree.. hehe.. but.. really got meh? which college/ uni??

guys... i duno wat program to choose.. business?? culinary arts?? hotel management?? designing?? i m interested in everything!!!! WAHAHAHA.. u guys would noe it.. okok.. tis is wat my bro told me..
1. culinary arts/hotel management:i must b prepared to get away from my social life coz of its working time.. n its very hard job.. very san fu..
2. designing : i must b prepare to work late hours n i MUST b talented... aiks... i m out of tis d.. coz i m not very outstanding n talented.. hehe..
3. business : accounting is da best... less work more pay.. admin is quite common(competitive).. marketing hard job.. common too.. haihz..
BUT BUT BUT.. i choose d business.. hehe.. just duno wt to do onli.. haha.. help me!!!

OKOK... help me.. esp those ady graduated or older than me de... got exp de..
1. which path shud i take??
2. wat course in business??

HEHE.. dun vomit blood wor.. i noe i m very mafan la.. hehe...

i m stupid too!!

aiks.. second post of so many months.. hehe...suddenly so many things to say leh...

guys n girls!!! i m very blur de.. i m not good in everything de.. okie?? i maybe good in somethings coz i had some experience or knowledge bout it.. n now onli i knew i m not easy to get adapt to new surroundings.. hehe... really.. i dun adapt tat fast.. haihz.. i m very blur blur.. i pick up things very slow de.. so if u ask me do something i duno.. i will look n act blur!!! dun get angry o.. i m kinda stupid de..

n n n ... dun think i m superman o.. i noe how to do everything lidat.. if u think i will noe how to do things without ppl teaching me.. u r wrong.. i MAYBE good after u teach.. but i m not tat kind of ppl hu can learn by just watching without ppl teaching..i m not tat kind of genius.. some ppl can just learn stuff by looking at it..or rather observe... or hearing it.. but i m not...something i think i can la.. but limited things onli.. hehe.. so... pls b patient.. n take some time to teach me if u really wan me to get to it.. dun get angry n grumpy okie??? i noe i m blur n stupid.. dun put too much expectations on me...

scared...

Hhmmm.... so long din blog d lor.. bout one month?? lol..

tis few days i feel 'weird'.. duno leh.. haihz... coz i see many things.. too many i think.. hehe... i just realise so many things.. haihz.. hate it sometimes... u noe everytime u nag bout something n talk bad bout something?? or even whine bout something bad had happen to u? or u feel unfair?? now i noe d... i noe tat we must not see the bad side of things.. must see it from the good side... always look on da bright side lo..

these few months.. many things happen to me.. i knew too many things.. maybe i m big enuf.. so ppl started to tell me bout things... things i din noe.. or dun even knew tat it could be real! real sad to noe it.. for somethings la... after watching 'i not stupid too'... it really makes me think so many things leh... nice movie.. watch it.. haha... i actually cried few times... funny n touching... the things they say there very true n great... love it..

hhmmm... so many things i said up there.. but i duno wat i m talking about.. lol.. after i noe some truth.. i start to accept it.. n tis is now i knew tat its not easy to accept the truth!!! everytime i watch tv, then something bad happen... then i wud think: no need lidat gua.. where got so kua cheong... how can ppl b so sad for so long leh? or how come ppl get metally ill/become psycho after they knew something leh??? now onli i knew y.. how hard is it.. haihz.. maybe i m trying to run away from it... i duno.. but i m scare.... i noe it will happen someday.. n for some.. i noe it had passed.. so it doesnt matter.. but but but.. i cant afford to take it!!! I M VERY SCARE!!!!

haihz.. frenz.. some of u might say take it easy.. but... i noe its easy to say n to b done lor... coz last time i might tell u guys ok la.. nothing la.. everything will b alright.. but but but... its actually very hard to deal with the truth!!! i m not telling anybody wats all the matters... but i will tell.. one person... onli... n its not chuan.. haha...so dun force him lor... its really some HUGE secrets!!! sorry coz i cant tell.. haihz.. feel really down...

erm.. duno wat title..

Hhmm... feel like blogging.. hehe... but duno wat to write about wor... hehe..

WOW... these few days... i really happy... nono.. not these few days.. its weeks.. hehe... last time.. i maybe a bit not sure.. but now.. i m sure of it... i think.. hehe.. dun care lar.. tis person.. lets name it A... A really influence me a lot.. in a good way lar...

A is the one hu make me believe in myself again... A is the one hu encourages me in everything i do... A is the one hu i adore.... A is my 'best' fren? haha.. not yet... coz the place is now someone else.. haha... A is a great partner... A is the one hu brings me to the right path.. i mean in study lar.. A is the one hu makes my fire burn again in my studies.. i really feel like studying right away.. very eager to start school now.. lol... A is the one hu pushes me when i stop down... A is the one hu makes my brain.. erm.. how u say.. so 'creative'?? haha.. so many ideas came into my mind... n made a lot of things.. hehe.. hand craft.... aiks.. not saying A is the best lar.. hehe.. but A is ... erm... haha... duno lar... OH YA... A is the one hu makes me have faith in everything.. including my frenship.. hehe.. i believe tat my frenship with others is getting worse.. hehe.. but.. now i m sure n i wan to make everything good.. ^^

Hhmmm.. very happy... really... my best fren told me.. tat he is having some problems.. i really duno how to help him... really.. but... tis is not others can help.. tis is about u.. its onli u can help urself.. b strong dude!!! have faith in urseflf again!! b urself again!! the last time tat one.. erm.. the good one lar.. not the bad one.. hehe... everything will change as the time passes by...

duno y... i onli step half of my feet into the society onli.. but.. i ady felt.. pressure.. haihz.. there are so many types of ppl out there.. u wont noe hu u will bump into... so.. always b polite n carry urself in a good matter.. b good n true to others.. n they will treat u da same.. but in some cases.. hehe.. u noe i noe lar.. in tis world.. to hav an additional fren is better than having an additional foe... bear in mind.. n sometimes.. ppl out there.. erm.. makes u think back bout the pure fren u find in ur high school or primary school.. really.. so.. hold tight to ur frenz u hav now... dun let them loose.. when time comes.. u will noe hu is da best.. hehe.. like my best fren told me.. maybe he havent connect with the new frenz yet..(getting along with the new enviroment its kinda hard.. esp the ppl... even for those hu can adapt easily..its a challenge.. but u hav to master it...) or.. they are not as pure n sincere n great as the ones in his sec school... hehe... m i rite?? i feel tis way too...

so.. everyone!!! JUST KEEP IN TOUCH YA!!!! hehe... take k...

爱情。。。。。什么来的？？？？有人能理解吗？？？？

很多人肯定会认为我没有可能谈恋爱。。。甚至连我自己也这么觉得。。。。我到底明白什么是爱吗？？？或许我不晓得。。。。可是。。。。我并不希望你们全部说我错说我不应该。。虽然自己很混乱。。。可是我不想听你们对我的批评了！！！

我受够了。。。我不想听你们批评我了。。。。在你们面前。。。。为什么我终会是你们取笑得和发泄的人物呢？？？我就是我。。。。我要怎么改变就是怎么改变。。。虽然你们想帮助我。。。。可是。。。。可以给我尝试吗？？？？不要再因为我的改变而说很多的批评吗？？？你们真的能够接受我的改变吗？？？？

你们曾经说过。。出来和朋友玩或走街时。。不要突然'lai yeh' 或脸臭臭的。。。可是。。这一切都是你们的猜测。。。你们真的以为我'lai yeh' 吗？？有时候。。。。你们都有和几个朋友说话。。。而有时插入会不礼貌或什么的。。。。或有时你们不想跟我讲那话题或我根本不明白你们在说什么。。。。所以我就一个人走起来了。。。或有时我觉得我想要一些思想和单独的空间。空间。。就这么一点时候。时候。。你们却说我'lai yeh'。。。。不知不觉。。。。我背上这罪名多年了。了。。到底你们真的明白我的个人吗？？？？

近来我都带着笑脸出来见你们。。。。虽然你们接受不了我的改变。。。。可是。。。。你们有没有想过我是需要多少勇气跟你们坦白的吗？？？每一次。。。。我都会给你们问或批评或劝导至我很想倒闭。。。我每次都要忍。。。不想脸臭臭的。。。每次我都是带着伤感回家。。。你们知道吗？？我知道你们对我很失望。。。。可是。。你们就是要酱到永远吗？？？？突然的改变令你们无法接受。。。。我明白。。。。可是我希望时间会证明一切。。。

在这短短的几个月。。。。我尝试了当第3者、长途恋爱、劈腿。。。。复杂吧？？哈哈。。。。虽然这些都是不被人祝福的。。。可是我觉得我很幸福快乐。。。我觉得自己好坏。。。。变得真的。。。。。。。。。相信你们都到这时。。已经把口张的很大吧！请你们见到我时。。。。不要问我为什么会酱或我到底在搞什么的一些问题。。我是不会回答你们的。。。。请原谅。。。

希望我现在拥有的是一个值得让我回忆和直到永远的恋情。。。我想。。。有些人读到一半已经很生气了。。。甚至不要读了。。。对吗？？？？哈哈。。我些这出来。。。不想要你们再为我担心。。。。也想要你们不要再批评我了。。了。。了。。好吗？？？谢谢你们。。。。
PS...不要问我是谁。。。。

没有方向的我。。

我在家里待了一段日子了。。。酱多人之中。。。我最空闲最没有方向的。。。

我在家里除了吃喝，睡觉，上网。。已经没有什么做了。。。。幸好我自己找了一些东西做。。。。就是把房间美化。。还有我做了许多手工艺品呢！！哈哈。。。好了，下一个就是要画画。画。。我超爱画东西的。。。。虽然我在你们面前很少画。。。。可是我真的很爱。。。。原本要读'graphic design'这科的。。。。可是被我父母反对。。。。更何况钱也是一个问题。。。。所以我唯有读中六了。。。。然后努力考进大学！！呵呵。。。别看小我啊！现在的我已经不是以前的我了。。。。我变了！！！！！

学业这就搞掂了。。。至於什么科目就等中六完毕后再想吧！！！！哈哈。哈哈。。

变

变了？人人都在说我变了。。。我不否认这点。。确实，我真的变了。。。

变得是好是坏，我不晓得。。但漫长的人生里，每个人都会变吧？不同的阶段里，都会有不同的改变罢了。。。身边的一切会因你而变？还是你因身边的一切而变？这都有可能。。

想起自己所作的承诺，我都会笑起来。。什么永远是朋友？什么爱你一万年的？一切都是真的吗？？到现在，我都不可以给予肯定的答案。。原因？不晓得。。。可能我接触了这一点点的社会吧！原来外面的世界真的很大很大。。。这些诺言，我都会尽我能力去完成和守着。。。但我不希望你没有对这承诺付出。。。我也不希望是你把他打碎。。。我很怕。。。接触了外面的世界，我不得不把自己关起来。。保护自己。。。因此，我变得好像冷淡了。。。变得不那么平易近人了。。。就是没有好像以前那样了。。我也没有那么容易相信人了。。。可能是受了伤害而造成的吧！

逃避

我喜欢你，可是我不能和你在一起。。。原因？
1。我必须离你而去，到个很远很远的地方。。。
2。我骗你罢了，想玩玩你。。。
3。我很寂寞，但是不想负责任。。。

以上的种种原因，我都很想你亲口对我说，至少我还能知道自己痛的是什么，伤的是什么。。但是，你往往对我说：“我已经靠岸了，但是我不想失去你，也不想背叛他。。因为我爱你，而和他在一起已经许久了，不想对不起他。。。” 就这样过了整个月了。。我们还是搞不清楚之间的一切。。是乎我们俩都在逃避着。。。而逃避的同时，我们也在欺骗自己，伤害自己。。。

明知道让你离开他的世界不可能会我还傻傻等到奇迹出现的那一天直到那一天你会发现真正爱你的人独自守着伤悲曾经我以为我自己会后悔不想爱的太多痴心绝对为你落第一滴泪为你做任何改变也唤不回你对我的坚决

为你的等待真的一点也没有在你心里留下任何东西吗？其实我要求的并不多。。。只是想留在你身旁照顾你，分享你的喜怒哀乐。。。也希望能陪你走过漫长的人生旅程。。。但是我想告诉你的是。。。我没有后悔爱上你。。。

等到永远

结束了。。一切都结束了。。可是我对你的感情仍然存在。。。

我会永远的爱你。。再多的痛和伤都无所谓。。因为我觉得你是值得的。。我宁愿我们继续秘密酱下去。。也不要好像现在。。因为我的心比之前更痛。。之前我只是埋怨而已。。并没有意思说我很伤很痛。。。因为我真的很开心。。没有痛苦。。伤痛。。。

学会放下可能不是我的天分。。可是我不想放弃你。。所以我会等。。因为我相信你会回心转意的。。。我也相信会有好的一天的。。。