Monday, July 05, 2010

Being rich changes you?

Things have been happening around me. People have been changing. For the better and of course for the worse. hhmmm. I noticed something though. When we are rich or suddenly turned rich, will we spend like nobody's business ?

We always have wants in love. Something that we always wanted but due to some circumstances ( money being the top problem), we would not be able to enjoy or have such wants. However, when we suddenly become rich or slowly building out wealth, of course we will get all these wants. Satisfy all our wants. But is it worthy? I always wonder. The temptation of having these wants is strong, but when you clear your mind and think about it, you will have second thoughts, or at least I will have.

Most people tend to spend on materiality stuff when they have money. Mostly branded stuff. It can't be denied that such branded stuff are more durable and of higher quality. But do they even care? All they just do is buy buy buy. Even if they give excuses such as higher quality and more durable that it might last you for 10 years or so, next thing you know, they will be buying another one the following month. Or perhaps they say such things make them look better -.-" What the hell ?! you sure about it ? hhmmm... If you have confidence, even the clothing from the night market will make you look better.

Of course, sometimes we might be carried away, but we need to think and consider whether it is worthy to spend such money on these wants. To me, clothes are just something I wear to protect me from danger and to keep me warmth and to ease my daily activities. Wearing something comfortable is my main priority. Not the brand, not the price, not the trend. As long as I feel comfortable wearing it and it does not create a 'public scene', then I am fine with it.

Moreover, why do we need so many jewelry?! I do not understand, we only have one neck, two hands, two ears and ten fingers! Is it necessary?! What about gadgets ?! hhmmm.. technology is changing so fast nowadays, you cant always chase after technology. Being contented with what you have is what important. It works doesn't it !? It was your top choice when you bought it right?! So deal with it. I always wanted to have an iPhone to play games and play music. and those fancy apps. Come to think of it, my phone is working fine, so I might just get the iPod Touch. hhmmm. A gaming and music device to keep me occupied. And of course about my lappy which might die on me anytime, lots of cracks here and there and the screen is shaking vigorously. My initial idea was to get a new lappy. But now I've got a free netbook, I would guess I just get a desktop which is cheaper and better in performance. As for travelling,I shall take the netbook.

And of course, CAR! why do people need so many cars !? or keep changing cars ?! not like it is an investment! I see some people change car because a newer version or a better car is out! WTF!? A car is just a car. it is a form of transportation that brings you from one place to the next destination. As long as the car is safe ( able to protect me and my loved ones) and functions well, I don't mind.

Other than that, I really do not have any materiality thing that I want now. I have enough clothes for all occasions. I have a phone, a netbook and a lappy. I have a car to travel with. I guess if I am rich one day, I would spend my money on books, food and travelling. Because these are the things I love and it will bring happiness and expand my knowledge and experience. And of course helping others in need. I have soft spots for these...

Friday, July 02, 2010

Do what you like, Like what you do...

Does this theory applicable ?

I am actually wondering what I am doing right now is what I want to do for the next few decades of my life. Basically accounting and finance is not what interest me most. Well, I have interest in it, but it is not my top choice. So why do I even pick this subject/field as my profession? hhmmm.. I do not know actually. Because I am capable and I likey challenges? or the path is exciting and tormenting XD. Or perhaps the salary + bonus is rewarding. Whatever it is, I've chosen this path, I've finished my degree in this subject/field. I have to likey it in order to perform and excel. I have to believe in myself that I am capable of doing it no matter what the consequences are.

Well, my top interest now I guess would be human behavior. I likey to study and analyze about the human behavior. How people interact, behave or carry themselves. It is very interesting and fascinating to study the various forms of human behavior. That is why I enjoyed very much doing my bachelor degree's dissertation on this subject matter. Weird it is, I did an Accounting and Finance Bachelor Degree with a dissertation on Human Behavior in the workplace. But that is me. The combination of my interests. So, should I switch my profession to this ? hhmmm..

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Look more mature now...

Today, I had lunchie with some old friends of mine. Great time we spent together. Known one another for 3 years or so I guess. Time flies. Over the years, they had seen me grow. lol. Today, they said that I have grown more mature. Look more mature. Haha. I like this comment. I guess once you reach a certain age or stage of life and experience, your face grows with you as well. I always wish to be mature and look mature. But what do I really want now ? hhmmm. i don't know. I feel lost. I guess I have to trust my instincts...

Monday, June 28, 2010

2 feelings that I hate..

I hate the feeling of NOT HAVING MONEY! The feeling of it its just so darn unpleasant and horrifying! To a guy, Money is power, safety, responsibility. Money limits our needs, wants, social life, freedom etc. Without money, a guy will feel very insecure about things. Even if it is just holding it and knowing that he has the money is just enough. He do not need to use it or anything. But as long as he knows he has a sum of money somewhere and when there is a need, he could fulfill that need with that amount of money, then he would be alright.

The second thing is that I hate the feeling of being HELPLESS and POWERLESS when it comes to loved ones being in trouble. Loved ones include family, close friends, partners etc. Someone you truly care about. If they are in troubled or they are feeling depressed/sad or perhaps dying, all you can do is just stand there and watch it happen. Being helpless and powerless in the situation. Doesn't it hurt you?

Once, I watched my hamster die in front of my eyes. His pulse is getting weaker by the second and his breathing is more intense. I know he is gonna leave me soon. I know that he is suffering. I want him back! I couldn't do it. I just held him in my palms and started praying and talking to him. Yup! I TALKED with him, my HAMSTER! I told him ' I'm sorry and I love you. Thanks for being my pet hamster. I really appreciate the time we spent together. I wish you all the best. You can go now with pride. Don't suffer anymore, just go on. Don't be afraid. It's alright. Rest in peace.' and I actually kissed him! lol... and few minutes after that, he passed away. hhmmm.. It hurts me though to watch him die in my hands with the thought that I could not do anything to help him.

Or once, I have this close friend of mine staying in another country. News broke out that his loved one had incurable disease. 4th Stage if I am not mistaken. And he is far away from his loved one. I can sense his sadness, his pain. I can feel it myself. Looking at him like that, it just hurt me because AGAIN I am powerless and helpless in the situation! All I can do is just tell him to take care and all. But that is not someone in the situation needed I guess. I wish I could just go there and give him a hug or perhaps lend him a shoulder to cry on, the least I could do. However, he is a lot more tougher than I thought.

Or this close friend who is feeling lost and depressed. I don't know what is going on. I just couldn't help! I HATE IT! I HATE NOT BEING ABLE TO MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY! ESPECIALLY LOVED ONES! THOSE THAT I CARE ABOUT! Now I am getting Emo about it! ARGH! >.<"

Friday, June 25, 2010

My Willfulness

I realised that when it comes to certain group of people, I have this attitude that I find it irritating myself. Of course, lots of people also find it irritating too. It has caused me to lose a fair amount of friends. Last time, I used to think, it's alright, if they can't accept me for who I am, so be it. But now when I look at it. It is not like that anymore. I need friends. More friends than I actually think I need. Moreover, this attitude is just getting out of hand. I am trying very hard now to fix my willfulness. It has been a pain in the ass and people are getting sick and annoyed by it. Yup, it's about time to fix my willfulness :) Help me please...

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Echoes of the Rainbow 岁月神偷

Just finished watching Echoes of the Rainbow. Been dying to watch it but due to assignment, exam and time constraint, I didn't watch it in the cinema. What a magnificent movie with a bunch of talented actors and actress + nice song. I feel so closed to the movie because the character's name is Desmond too. Furthermore, I see myself in the kid(Desmond's younger brother).

Before watching the movie, I already prepared myself that I will boohoo. Yup, I did boohoo. It is very touching. I always thought and feel that a kid's cry is annoying till I watch this movie. The kid had three memorable cry scene in the movie. The first time when he cried, my heart went all soft. I pity the kid. He just wanted something. I understand that feeling because when I want something so badly and I couldn't have it, I can feel my heart ache. I guess this is my personality, I do not accept 'No' for an answer. I dislike the feel of being turned down or could not get something I want so badly. The feeling of defeat is just unbearable. But as years gone by, I am still learning how to take things easy and understand the fact that not everything goes our way.

The second time the kid cried is when there was a storm that ruined his house. They were leaving in this house that was made of wood and metals that were unstable. Strong wind could just blew away the whole house. Indeed, the the storm ruined part of the house. His parents was holding on to the roof to avoid it being blown away. Hanging on to their dear lives and only house. This shows how poor and unfortunate they are. My heart sank when the kid cried holding on to his mother's leg while shouting for help. He was like ' Mom... Dad... Help me...' I bet when we are young, when we are sad, lonely and helpless, we would always cry out for our parents.

The last memorable cry scene was that he had this 6th sense about his brother. He ran back home from school and found out that the house was not opened. He cried out loud because he knew something was wrong. Indeed, his brother passed away. The bond between him and his brother was so strong that he could feel his brother. His grandmother told him that if he want to see his loved ones again, he would have to throw all his precious things into the sea. Which he did just to see his brother again. This shows that he loves his brother because he would sacrifice the most precious things to him just to see his brother again.

Another part of the movie that caught my attention was how materialistic the nurses were. They would asked for tips to perform their jobs such as fetching the water or drawing blood from the patient. How could people be so materialistic ?! On the other hand, the parents showed that money is not everything compared to his dear son's life. The father actually pawned his watch and wedding ring in order to get blood transfusion to his son. The scene was so touching when the mother saw the finger that previously held the wedding ring was gone. She understands and hold on to the father's hand. Parents would do anything for their children' dear lives.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010




Monday, June 21, 2010

I look young... advantage.. definitely..

A lot of people had mentioned that I look young. Yup, I admit. I am young and I have lil bit of baby face! Thus, I look young :P The thing is that, I am short as well. So, the combination gives other people the sense of incapable of handling things. But, I assure you that I am capable of things I do not even know I could.

Some sees this as an disadvantage, but I would like to see it as an added advantage. Honestly speaking, I look the same since I was in primary school. I still look the same now. Young, witty, naughty and playful XD I will look almost the same 10 years from now. when I am in my 30s. or perhaps I will look like I am in my late 20s when my actual age is in the 40s! How awesome is that!? No botox!! cool! and sometimes I could still give the 'puppy eyes'... lol...

Well, I m going for an interview this Friday. I do not want to show that I am too young/incapable of the job. I need to dress up more maturely. hhmmm.. Good Luck to me...

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Point of choosing new journey...

I've finished my bachelor degree. 4 years just passed like that. In a blink of eye. Now I am standing at a point of my life where one phase ended, I'm supposed to make decision about which path to take on. To start a whole new challenging journey.

Of course, I'd have plans in my mind already but how would I know if those plans would work ? How would I know if such choices will lead me to where I wish to be in the future ? Are those choices worthy enough ? Good enough for me ? Am I capable of doing it ? hhmmm...

I guess nobody could answer those questions for me. Or give me the answer to it. I need to go and explore it myself. I need to fall down, in order to learn how to get up all by myself. Learn it the hard way. or is there a smart way ? by just reading ? I guess the experience will give you more insight to everything. Is there someone to guide me along this road ? Do I really need guidance ? I guess, to a certain extent, some guidance would be excellent but we must not always depend on others. All by myself...

Sometimes I would think that my past will come back to haunt me. will it ? hhmmm.. what I'd failed to do in the past will haunt me in the future. Or perhaps something I did wrong come back and haunt me. aiks.. One bad decision we made last time might haunt us in the future. so be wise when choosing something and have no regret once the decision is made. Go all out! just stay positive and everything will be alright. This is the belief I hold on to now...