Friday, December 21, 2007

Think in Other's shoe...

Recently i had a chat with Alfred bro.. hhmmm.. i learnt something from him.. think of something or judge on things in tat someone's shoe... take tis for example.. i m a 19yo teen.. then i m in this situation where i m short of cash coz my mom nids money for operation.. n i fell into depression.. coz of stress from it n loads of assignments.. then when i tell someone hu are older.. just hoping tat i can tell someone.. tats all.. not with the hope of they give me money of coz.. then.. tat someone just say tat i bitch about it.. say me fan.. n say its just a small matter.. -.-" hhmmm.. as for me.. i will feel very sad lo.. in this kind of situation.. u say i fan n bitch bout everything..

then.. came this god bro.. he told me tat its ok.. life is like tat.. at 1st he tot tat i m annoying too.. but then when he think bout it.. its a growing process.. he have gone tru it... he understand my feeling.. n help me by talking to me n listening to me.. he said tat its my attitude tat i m like tat.. n he is ok with it.. n tis is the time when someone older gives help n chance to me when i nid it.. so i m very glad tat he did so..

tis story says tat.. no matter wat u do.. must think in tat person's shoe.. to tat person, the matter seems big n important as tat person is still new at it n trying to grow with it.. u are not helping by just judging tat person by saying they fan or ask them to keep quiet n stuff.. for all those extra years of experience and knowledge u got over tat person for being in tat age.. i bet u wud think tat the same matter is such a small one coz u ady got everything it takes to handle it.. y dun u just think of it from his point of view? rather than getting angry n scolding him for being in tat stage.. i m sure u have been tru tat time n stage too.. n tat time i m sure u wan someone to listen to u n help u.. but not scolding u.. rite? if u are able to think of things in tat person's shoe.. i bet there wud be a lot more hope in this world.. n less ppl will commit suicide..

STOP BITCHING!!!

OK... life is like tat...

now i noe the real meaning of ' frenz in school days must appreciate it as u wont get fren hu are as sincere as those from school..' when i trusted someone, n i got betrayed over n over again.. or just got cheated over n over again.. just lost the trust in ppl... n how ppl are so realistic...

sometimes its just tat diff ppl will just have diff taste.. if i aint ur taste.. i take the hint.. hehe.. sometimes its just hard to please someone.. esp when they dun talk to u, act arrogant nia.. then if u try to talk with them or communicate with a sincere heart of just being a fren, they say u stupid or dumb or childish.. or they will say u fan.. if u say 'fine, if tats the case, got the hint n leave u..' then they say u small gas.. WTF man!?

Hhmmm.. thx to god bro chris... i shall go on with the DMOP (Desmond Make Over Plan) as soon as possible now... n i shall make revenge.. ngek ngek.. LOL.. okok.. stop bitching around n get on with my life.. nobody appreciate having me as a fren? i shall not bitch about it anymore.. aint worth it.. ^.^ accept me for hu i m not wan me to become the one u wan in ur heart...

conclusion? stop bitching, Desmond!

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Enchanted

After watching the movie 'Enchanted', i was amazed by the plot, setting, characters, make ups etc... its actually very entertaining.. i tot it was something for the kids.. lol.. but it turns out to be quite entertaining n i got a few lessons from it.. some point of views.. some things which i had forgot long ago.. perhaps u guys too...

Love is something simple... it shud be simple.. when everything is gone, or shit happens, just think of the things which attracts u to that guy/gal... u wud be surprised by the outcome... if u realise, its just a sweet smile, watery eyes, cute lil dimples or perhaps just a silly lil movement... its really sweet when u think of it.. sad things happens all the while.. so are u gonna spend all ur happy times on it ? no rite? LOL.. quote from the movie.. hehe..

the greatest power of all.. is the kiss of a true love... LOL.. it is indeed the greatest power of all.. hehe..

Mr/Ms Perfect.. i wonder y everyone is looking for such individuals... n does such person really exist? the answer... depends.. depends on wat is ur Mr/Ms Perfect.. as different ppl wan different things.. however, the one tat suits us the most.. be with us the longest.. happiest.. wud be Mr/Ms Right... n this individual is usually not 100% perfect.. perhaps just 50% ? lol... but then they are happily together forever n ever.. so y wud someone dream of Perfect when wat suits us is Right..

with my previous posts... i think a lot of ppl might have misunderstood me.. hhmmm.. but i just dun wanna say anything bout it.. if u dun blif me.. then i duno wat shud i say.. watever i say oso u wont blif.. but bear in mind.. i dun simply fuck ppl off.. n after watching the movie.. i just realise tat watever we do.. just keep an optimistic mindset n happy n the most important thing... LOVE... then it wud be a better day for u, me, n everyone...

love ya everyone.. spread the love..

Saturday, December 01, 2007

Cute Or Embarassing ?!

here is a situation at work today.. hehe...

its meal time!!! cool!!! then i went to the staff canteen to look around. i was looking at the food menu n figuring what should i eat.. once i m done with ordering, then i notice tat someone is looking at me.. i tot i noe tat someone.. so i looked back at tat someone n smile.. damn cute! LOL.. well, tat someone is kinda cute.. hehe... after tat, i stand next to the water cooler to wait for my food. after about few minutes, tat someone came over to take water.. refill the water bottle.. hehe.. after tat someone turn on the tap, tat someone looked at me.. AGAIN! lol.. then i was too shy.. then i turn away to look the other side.. then when i turn back, tat someone still looking at me! tis time tat someone smiled! then i smiled back.. hehe.. while i was trying to avoid tat someone's eyes, the funniest thing happened~! the water bottle over flow n spilled! LOLOLOL... i just noe tat someone blushed n we were both giggling away... cute or embarassing ?! LOL.. i think its cute... well.. its on tat someone hu is kinda cute.. i duno.. hehe... hope i get to meet tat someone again tml.. looking forward to it!!!

ADIOS AMINGO~! time to sleep.. hehe.. my legs are killing me... thx to the stupid carpark paying machine of ioi mall !! n of coz my work.. LOL...

p/s : there is no point in treating someone good if tat someone doesnt appreciate me... after so long.... i think i had enuf of it.. i tried watever i cud... i m a failure.. i give up...

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Confession

I am an egoistic and childish lil brat.. n the worst part is that i m denying it! SHIT!

L
LO
LON
LONE
LONEL
LONELY
LONEL
LONE
LON
LO
L

by posting those previous posts.. i m admitting it unconsciously...

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Sick And Tired

It's funny how people sees me as someone very childish and ugly.. LOL...

well.. it's not that i m denying the fact that i m childish sometimes.. hu doesnt ?! at certain time or shud say sometimes.. ppl tend to get childish.. well.. does tat mean that i m too over ?! i guess so.. for ages i have been denying tat fact.. i dun wanna accept tat fact.. and running away n denying it just makes the matter worse.. haiz.. i cant accept it just like tat as it shows tat i m just wat they say.. i cant just deny it just like tat as i m really childish for doing so.. hhmmm... wat i nid to do its just keep myself quiet.. n grow myself.. onli someone sincere n true to me will noe how mature/childish i m.. n onli someone hu is sincere n true n patient enuf will noe how much i have grown.. onli they will noe how n where i will grow to.. n tis are the bunch of ppl i shud take into account of..

besides that, i dun think i m really tat handsome.. erm.. i dun think tat i m very ugly too lo.. just in between.. :x perhaps more.. LOL.. i often get some comments from my fren that i m cute.. LOL.. shud i be happy or wat? coz cute its like someone childish.. well.. hu cares.. its not a tease or something.. but its from their sincere heart.. hehe.. can feel tat.. maybe i m wrong.. maybe i m right.. duno.. dun wanna think bout it.. sometimes when i go out.. ppl wud just ignores me or will just treat me differently.. i wonder why.. erm... i often get a lot of ppl tat talks to me a lot.. n very frenly.. when meet or after meet, they wud just ignore me.. they just change 180 degrees! WTF man.. so realistic! ugly n childish boi kenot be ur fren ?! diu.. i bet u are once childish too.. n someone gave u the chance to learn some things from them n grow from tat too! n i bet u are not tat leng either! LOL..

hhmmm.. often they will treat me like tat.. i m ugly n childish.. bear in mind tat there are oso ppl out there hu thinks the same as u.. they will tend to treat u the same way u treated me.. its karma.. n then u will feel how i feel.. i had enuf with tat.. i m tired n sick of it! aiks.. n some just will talk a lot n say how good n nice u are.. or appears to be how caring n frenly they are.. then when u ask to hang out.. lots of excuses! LOL... WTF man... if tats the case.. then if u wanna be virtual n online fren.. state it in the 1st place.. berlagak aje.. say wanna hang out n meet me .. liars.. suan.. after millions of time of asking u out.. if u dun appreciate it n stuff.. then fuck off! be net frenz better.. jangan jual mahal in front of me! its not like u are staying zillions of miles away or i have any diseases that might pass to u if u meet me.. or its not like i cant live without u if i dun meet u or hang out with u... busy? hhmmm... have been busy for few months.. n u are telling me no time ? not even a single lunch or dinner with me ? some even worse.. told me busy but there are few times u can hang out with ur other frenz.. or go gym or shopping! diu.. n sometimes u guys even complain tat u are so lonely.. -.-" i m sick n tired of it... i tried my best to please u guys.. i tried my best to stick and blif watever u have to say n give.. i had enuf of it!

if u guys dun appreciate having me as a fren, bro or watever u call me, FUCK OFF then! i got close frenz hu is willing to back me up when i m in danger n in problem, will share my happiness and sadness with me.. treat me the way u wan to be treated back. n u will be amazed n surprise at the outcome.. ^.^

Monday, November 26, 2007

away from stress

Tis morning i woke up early to send my sis to the KLIA transit at Kampung Malaysia... its just 10 minutes drive away from my house.. hhmmm.. its a transition point for KLIA transit, KTM and STAR LRT.. i have to pass by a kampung or as known as village to the station.. hehe..

hhmmm.. its been a while since i have ever been to anywhere besides the busy and congested KL n PJ area.. i have always fancy the rural and peaceful life and scenery.. not much car n pollution.. just the green green grass, trees and blue blue sky, water.. the relaxed life.. without have to be stressful to go somewhere or do something.. take life at a slow pace..

it came to my sense again that i shud take a holiday.. out from the busy n stressful KL n crowd.. when i drove passed the village.. i saw some chickens crossing the road.. then i have to stop n let them cross.. they look so cute.. when their 'ass' feathers just bounce n bounce when they try to move fast to cross the road.. which in fact they did not move fast.. LOL.. damn cute n funny.. it brightens up my life.. then after dropping my sis.. while i was driving back.. i saw those uncles n aunties sitting outside their houses.. talking n chit chatting away.. so happily.. then i have to stop by the road for my mom to buy some AWESOME nasi dagang.. hehe.. i over shot.. so when i looked behind.. no car.. so i jsut reverse.. suddenly HORN!!! a motorbike.. ops :x then i break immediately! hehe.. then he just go pass me without cursing or anything. i just raised my hand as a sign of apology.. if i was in the KL area.. i bet i wud get some cursing or the 'finger' or perhaps the stare... LOL.. hhmmm.. how good n nice they are here.. no hatred.. hehe.. then the auntie tat sells the nasi dagang so polite.. hehe.. they like to talk with us.. relate lots of stuff.. hehe...

damn nice.. i wanna go to some holiday.. hehe.. stay away from the KL n PJ area.. hehe.. or at least from the stressful lifestyle i m having now..

Friday, November 16, 2007

Underestimation, look down on me, stereotyping, halo-effect...

Often ppl underestimate me bcoz of my age, my cute look *grins*, my height, my usage of language at certain point or perhaps my behaviour.. well, wat actually happened was that they stereotype or the halo-effect are involve while they are making judgments on me...

you noe wat motivates me the most to become a better person ?

its the underestimation, the look down on me, the stereotyping and the halo-effect of u guys that motivates me to change to a better person. it might sound stupid to change bcoz of how some ppl look at me.. sometimes its just en ego.. i just wan to prove to u tat i m not tat weak, stupid or dependent on ppl after all.. perhaps at the very point i show such qualities.. but if u r sincere enuf or stay enuf to see me n understand me, i bet u will be amazed... i m saying this bcoz of some ppl just take a 1st look at u.. then they start to stereotype, halo-effect, estimating u... n once they are done doing tat, they will just ignore u for the rest of the time.. is tis fair? well.. it isnt fair.. but wat is fair in tis world ? i have to bear some responsibilities too as i shud have shown my best at the very 1st... but dif ppl have diff taste n stuff.. so u cant get everyone to like u.. n i always believe tat 'save the best for the last'..

Age... lots of ppl think that i m onli 19.. i m too young? childish/immature? i can say that i m more than wat my age can offer.. i m capable of doing lots of things at tis age while others hu are older than me are incapable of doing such things.. so its age a limiting factor? yes but to a certain extend.. not to say i m very capable n mature.. i m still learning myself n i like to learn.. i like to talk too ppl hu are mature and knowledgeable.. bcoz i can learn a lot of things from them.. but i m definitely more than wat a normal average 19yo can offer..

Looks... some ppl think tat i m cute , some thinks tat i m ugly.. but i noe hu i m n where i stand.. everyone wans to become lengzai rite? i like to experience new stuff n try new things once at least.. i wan to look better than i m now.. tats y i m came out with the Desmond Makeover Plan... not bcoz of how ppl look at me.. i just wan to look better n lengzai.. while i m still young.. n hope i will stay tat nice n attractive till i m old n retired.. n good looks are always a + for anything.. i experienced it b4.. when ppl say no to u just the minute they look at u.. really sad though.. but it motivates me.. hehe.. n have u ever thought why most playboys are capable of having lots of partners but yet lots of hatred towards him? n ppl wud die for them or willingly to be played by them? its bcoz they have the looks... most important factor.. tats wat i think.. lolx..

Height.. hahaha.. tis is something which lots of ppl tease me about.. i m short.. very short.. so wat?! i cant change tat fact.. its in the genes.. lolx..but there isnt a rule saying tat short ppl wont succeed in life n lead a happy life rite? short or tall.. i deserve a chance in everything.. hu says tat onli tall ppl are good at basketball? nonsense!! even short ppl can be very good at playing basketball.. its the determination... the inner self tat matters.. not the outer self.. short ppl have their own advantages n disadvantages.. so does tall ppl.. so dun tease short ppl.. LOL... well i m used to it... though.. hehe..

Language... hhmmm.. my language.. esp eng.. not tat good though.. but i m willing to learn.. i m trying to pick up things.. bits n pieces.. asking questions to be better.. once in a group presentation.. our group got the highest marks.. well.. actually is always.. lolx.. n i gave CONSTRUCTIVE COMMENTS on other groups' presentation.. well.. my lecturer asked us to do so.. so i did.. i din meant to fire or bombard ppl.. i m just trying to help my frenz to improve.. tats all.. n hoping tat my frenz are open minded enuf to accept it.. however, it turn out tat some ppl isnt tat open minded after all.. suits u.. but i did my part to help.. n after tat my lecturer gave comments.. she agreed with all tat i have to say.. LOL.. wat i wanna say to u ppl out there are ' I GOT THE HIGHEST(2ND) MARKS IN MOST OF THE TEST ITS NOT BCOZ I M CUTE! BUT ITS BCOZ I M GOOD AT OBSERVING N GOOD IN MY LANGUAGE N WILLING TO LEARN N ACCEPT CONSTRUCTIVE COMMENTS!' sounds arrogant here.. but.. i m just trying to speak out.. being confident.. LOL.. i m not saying i m the best.. but i m learning n willing to accept constructive comments n change to become better out of it..

Behaviour.. lol... or it shud be link to my emotions.. lolx.. as u guys noe.. i m kinda emotional.. but i m improving.. u wudnt wanna noe me if i was younger.. hahaha... my behaviour.. at times.. its just see hu is the person i m with.. its just diff ppl n diff ways of being with them.. hehe.. be smart enuf to blend in... soemtimes i might be a bit too manja.. or a bit too playful/childish.. but its my personality.. learn to live with it or leave me alone.. well.. its just sometimes.. i m not like tat always... so if u treat/respect me the way, i will give u the equal or perhaps even more respect n treat in return.. hhmmm.. but it conflicts with one thing.. when ppl are mean to me.. i shud be better to them.. hmmm.. i still cant do tat yet.. duno why... trying to change? duno.. but tats wat makes me unique.. ahaha..

lastly i wanna say tat accept me for hu i m but not someone u wan me to be... be patient n treat ppl sincerely.. u will earn ur rewards n be amazed by it.. dun just judge a person by its cover or 1st impression though 1st impression is very important.. but try not to do so.. try to take time at knowing tat person.. tis doenst apply to interviews.. it applies to getting frenz/relationships.. so be smart n blend in well.. always be open minded to accept other ppl's constructive comments as they have their own reasons for saying such things.. try n think bout it n change to become a better person.. dun change bcoz of wat others wan u to be.. change bcoz of urself.. change bcoz u wan to.. change to become a better person, not worse...

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

facial n fish reflexology

tonight i went for my facial!! woo hoo!! damn nice.. lol... well, it may sound sissy but i m a metrosexual man!! LOL.. i have to 'repair' my skin coz of all the pimples n take good care of it now.. hehe.. i love my face.. i wan to be presentable! tis is the 1st move of the Desmond MakeOver project.. lol..

tis is actually my 2nd facial session.. bcoz the beauty parlour move to another place, tats y i got a free facial wash.. the new place is damn nice.. its at happy garden.. its HERBALINE.. if u wanna noe more info bout the place can just drop me a msg.. the place is so damn relaxing n nice.. its like a a a a.. duno la! just nice lar.. i duno how to describe the design.. there's a name for it but i kenot rmemeber.. lol.. erm.. its like those spa.. with woods, flowers, glass windows, waters,rocks, pathways etc.. forgot to take a pic of it.. lol..

the beauty consultant / masseur is so pretty!!! skin is so nice !!! OMG.. the atmosphere, the beauty consultants.. OMG!!! n her hands are so soft n nice!! i love it when she do the facial.. damn nice.. lol... but the onli thing i dun like is the clear blackhead,whitehead n pimples part.. damn freaking painful!! now my face are full of red dots.. lol...

i found out tat i have a dry skin.. i tot its sensitive skin all the while.. turn out to be i m wrong.. n she says tat i nid moisturizer to stop the oily skin.. coz its in the nature tat if our skin is too dry n have not enuf moisture, it will produce oil.. dirty oil!! then put some non greasy moisturiser which suit ur face wud help the situation of getting oily skin.. hmhmm... duno la.. lol.. i have to wash my face, wipe it dry with a FACIAL towel, put toner, put moisturiser, pimple cream.. aiks.. lots of things to do!! but for smooth n nice face, i dun care!! lol..

oh ya.. i went for the fish reflexology thing.. damn funny.. its a treatment for dead skin cells n sensitive skin n skin disease.. very common n famous in japan n singapore.. its imported from overseas.. my mom, aunt, sis n i were talking n feeding the fishes with our legs.. lol. its so funny.. ticklish.. but once u get used to it.. it feels good.. lol..like electric shock.. the beauty consultant told me tat its 'kissing fish'.. she oso duno wats the name.. LOL.. but really nice. now my feet are so soft n nice n clean.. i guess.. lol.. here is the pic..

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Pills...

Hhhmmm.. after some test n stuff.. i went to the doctor again.. tis time.. i got LOTS of medicine to eat.. GOSH!!! help me.. the size of the pills are like the size of a big kidney bean.. erm.. appx. 2cm X 0.5cm X 0.5cm... can u imagine ?!?!? OMG.. i have to take 4 of those big things plus another 3 more smaller ones EACH TIME!! for 2 weeks.. well.. its a day n nite thingy.. haizz.... i hate pills...

well.. i m taking clarithromycin, amoxicillin, ranitidine and omeprazole for the h.pylori and gastritis.. and another pill for itch as i have sensitive skin.. which will cause drowsiness.. my fren asked me how did i manage to swallow those pills ? i told him just like tat lo.. then he said its BIG n asked if i had stuff it up my ass... LOL... here are the pills i m taking..

Friday, November 09, 2007

i got cancer ?! H.pylori?!

Recent illness got me to my family doctor for a check up.. aiks. the 'lao sai' shit again .. haiz... its diarrhea.. non stop for a few days liao.. then i keep on burping for no reasons.. so i went to the doctor.. hhmmm.. he suspect that i have H. Pylori n ask me to test my blood... n i have gastritis.. god knows wat are those! lolx.. i have to test my shit n test my blood! SHIT!!!! yucks... kinda awkward u noe? hhmm.. i took the container n put the 'stuff' inside then wrap it nicely.. gladly put inside my bag.. suddenly i was thinking 'if someone rob my bag, wud i laugh or cry?'

hhmmm... my 'good fren' in class told almost everyone in college tat i have cancer!!! WTF! i just said tat i m infected with H.pylori.. which might cause cancer IF untreated... some even think tat its real.. gosh... well.. at least i noe they care bout me.. LOL.. sad way to noe someone actually cares bout u eh? but if i m going to die soon with such disease or any deadly ones.. i wud not tell u guys.. i wud just try to meet up with u guys.. then pretend nothign happened.. then b4 i die, i wud leave some contacts of all my frenz to my family so to inform them to come for my funeral! lolx.. with lychee n colourful outfits!! hehe..

okok.. i found out tat i have gastritis.. which is gastric.. i did not eat my meals accordingly.. well.. it is true as sometimes i wake up very early n have a few breakfast n heavy lunch at odd hours n tea n heavy dinner.. sometimes 2 dinners.. n sometimes i wud have few suppers in the middle of the nite when everyone is fast asleep.. hehe... or sometimes i wud wake up quite late till i wud skip breakfast n have my lunch at 4pm.. gosh.. tis is bad.. no wonder lar... haiz..... n i have a sensitive stomach.. means less curry, less oily stuff, less dairy products.. haiz...

bout the H. Pylori.. it is actually Helicobacter pylori.. it is a spiral-shaped bacterium that lives in the lining of the stomach. however, if left untreated the bacteria can lead to digestive illnesses, including gastritis, peptic ulcer disease and even stomach cancer later in life. But even thought the bacteria can cause these illnesses, experts believe that most H.pylori infections are 'silent' and produce no symptoms. about 2/3 of the world's population is infected with H.pylori.

It is suspected that H.pylori infection may be contagious, because the infection seems to run in families and is more common where people live in crowded or unsanitary conditions. although the precise mode of transmission remains unknown, the following routes seem most probable :
1. oral-oral (mouth to mouth contact such as kissing)
2. fecal-oral (through the ingestion of waste tainted food or water)
3. gastric-oral (exposure to vomit)
it is oso tested that H.pylori patient's saliva contain such bacteria. so food sharing n water sharing shud be stop for a period of time until it is fully cleared..

Anyone can have H.pylori infection without knowing it. when the bacteria do cause symptoms, they're usually either symptoms of gastritis or peptic ulcer disease. symptoms of gastritis may include nausea, vomiting and pain in the abdomen. as for peptic ulcer disease, abdominal discomfort is the most common symptom. usually abovethe navel n below the ribs. comes n goes for several days or weeks. usually occurs 2-3 hours after a meal, in the middle of the nite. it is relieved by eating or antacid medications. other symptoms of peptic ulcer diseas include nausea, vomiting , loss of appetite and belching. bleeding may oso occur. prolonged bleeding may cause anemia leading to weakness and fatigue. if bleeding is heavy, there may be bloody or black stools, bloody vomit or vomit that looks like coffee grounds.

it can be treated using antibiotics. bcoz a single antibiotic may not kill the bacteria, you may be given a combination of antibiotics. drugs used for treatment :

Antibiotics: metronidazole, tetracycline, clarithromycin, amoxicillin

H2 blockers: cimetidine, ranitidine, famotidine, nizatidine

Proton pump inhibitors: omeprazole, lansoprazole, rabeprazole, esomeprazole, pantoprozole

Stomach-lining protector: bismuth subsalicylate

since the source is unknown, there for prevention have not been made. but it is alwyas wise to wash ur hands thoroughly , eat food that's been properly prepared, drink water from a safe source. hhmmm.. a lot of ppl do not noe wat are the symptoms are dun even noe bout all these diseases as in msia, it is not very common. they will onli learn bout it when someone around them got tat disease. then onli they wud noe. b4 tis, i wud not noe anything bout peptic ulcer, gastritis, h pylori, stroke, high blood pressure, denggi etc etc... a lot of things i learned.. so it is wise to noe some common ones.. esp those contagious n deadly ones... or go for medical check ups accordingly.. hope everyone is ok!

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Death...

Went to da cemetery tis afternoon at Cheras to visit my ancestors.. As usual, its like a family thing and every year around this time. it's basically the 'All Soul's Day' for the Catholics... my dad was a Catholic.. so his ancestors are Catholic.. but my dad is now a Buddhist, but we just dun mind, we are open minded though.. well.. its just paying a visit to our beloved or at least my dad's.. lolx.. coz most of them i dun even noe them n perhaps havent seen them b4.. we lit candles, put flowers, clean the graveyard etc.. As usual, the wind is not helping.. well.. duno if i wan wind or not.. coz wind will light out the candles, if no wind means HOT!!! >.<"

nowadays.. there are some trips to visit the graveyard.. n for some chinese.. they wud go to all this 'feng shui' thing.. the Fu Gui Shan Zhong aka the Nirvana... very famous chinese cemetery in Msia.. its like all chinese wud wanna stay there after their life ended.. its like a 'hotel'.. luxurious 'resort' for them.. hehe... sounds funny.. but in reality is like tat.. bcoz of 'feng shui' n stuff like tat.. well.. back to the trip, they will bring these old ppl to visit it.. explain to them bout afterlife n stuff like tat n 'feng shui' etc.. n they shud plan for their deaths n stuff like tat due to the modern mindset.. LOL... well... they shud.. sound weird.. something unusual.. but i duno if any old ppl wud like to go coz a lot still in tat old mindset which they do not wanna discuss bout death n stuff like tat...

Suddenly, it came into my mind.. i remembered last year.. My lecturer told us tat if one day she passed away.. *touch wood* well.. hu doenst die.. hhmmm.. hope u r not offended by it.. she wud like us to come in colourful colours to the ceremony.. LOL.. weird? nah.. tats wat i have in common.. if i die.. come in COLOURFUL COLOURS!!! n bring some lychee.. hehe.. i love lychee.. well.. i dun mind being in a fire ceremony .. erm.. i dun wat they call it in eng.. u noe, the body is burnt to ashes.. n stuff like tat.. lolx.. BUT after i m really really really certified tat i m dead! lolx.. n the way i wanna die is without suffer.. happily without burdening anyone around me.. a lot of ppl wanna die in such way.. i have a fren hu is tis obsessive speed driver or 'grand prix' driver.. he doenst mind dying in an car accident which goes 220 kph in his BMW Z4 or something like tat.. LOL.. crazy ?

Friday, November 02, 2007

technology.. choose to ignore or ?

wanted to transfer pics n songs to my hp n form my hp to pc... but suddenly i found out tat my hp memory card got problem.. AIKS.. cant detect anything... so the onli solution is via bluetooth.. haiz...so troublesome..

tis is when i decided to format the hp memory card.. so i asked around my frenz if they noe how to format using the hp itself.. luckily nobody noes.. if not i wud have regretted.. coz then onli i knew tat all my phonebook n inbox msges will be deleted too!!! SHIT!!

suddenly i thought to myself.. y dun they just create a folder tat contains the phonebook n sms? so tat its easier to save stuff from my hp to my pc.. how convenient it wud be if there is tis function! i mean.. a lot of ppl just save all their contacts in their hp phonebook.. tats all.. dun have any copies.. like i do.. but the onli thing is tat.. when u wanna chagne new phone, format memory card, as a bakc up... its just so hard!! u have to copy it down one by one using the most original method aka hand writing..

how bout all those important sms!! those memorable tat u wanna keep n save.. u cant just save it inside the memory card like tat n transfer into ur pc rite ?! then one day u wud have to change ur memory card or hp.. then GONE!! aiks.. damn sad.. i tried it few times.. haizz.. all my memories lost!! haizz... if u are really hardworking, u wud copy it down by using hand writing.. but as most ppl .. like me.. just have better thigns to do.. haizz... duno duno duno.. n sometimes wat if we are not fast enuf to copy it down ? have u guys ever tot of accidents? stolen n stuff like tat ?!?!

with the technology today, i think tat tis function can be easily 'installed' into all the phones.. i heard from my fren tat nokia phones can save the phonebook to pc.. is it true? or is it just my phone cant ? SE.. aiks.. not saying tat u r bad.. but its just.. hhmmm... weird... lolx... with tis 'new function' i guess it wud ease out life out a bit.. n its more convenient tat way... either they refuse to add in tis function or they are just too blind trying to develop phones to have a better camera or solution or thinnest ! but they have forgotten the most basic nids of all humans.. the common ones... competing in tis direction which blinded them in such an area..

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Secrets & Trusts

Wat are secrets ? Wat are personal things?

there are things that should be kept and remain as something that is to be vanish in the world. nobody else should know about it, except urself or ur better half.. but sometimes ur better half would just leave u n use it against u... or perhaps ur best fren.. n ur best fren might just use it against u.. hu noes ? hu can say tat someone can be and will be ur best fren forever n keep those dirty lil dark secrets till it goes into the earth with us...

someone told me tat keep ur frenz close, but keep ur enemy closer... reason? to study them n read every single movement ??? i duno.. but i ought to find it out..
someone told me tat ur best frenz is the worst enemy u wud ever have.. reason? they are the ppl hu noes all ur dirty lil dark secrets.. sometimes they noe u better more than u urself noe..
so there is a dilemma here.. keep ur enemy closer n ur best fren is ur worst enemy.. so ur best fren shud be very very very close to u.. but with one condition tat he might betray u in the future.. or perhaps hurt u... they are far more worse than ur lover cheat on u if they wanna hurt u.. the pain is unbearable sometimes...

i used to trust ppl easily.. which i end up getting hurt n bad mouth at... b4 i enter the chatroom, my god bro told me to becareful n beware of all the ppl i meet there.. i laughed n said to him 'i will take k de lar.. i m big enuf to noe hu to trust .....' BAM! now i lost the battle by trusting someone hu i stil cant figure out hu betrayed me.. hhmmm.. or shud i say play me as a puppet or seek revenge on me.. i shouldnt have trusted so many ppl so easily.. now i learned my lesson tru the hard way... well.. i duno n dun wanna find out hu is tat one hu did tis to me.. its not tat important after all... i have to be responsible oso.. as it all started with me.. i m the one hu trust the wrong person n say things without using my brain, if i have one...

my mouth is always the trouble maker for me.. aiks.. i often talk a lot or crap a lot till everyone starts to get annoyed with me... the content, the tone etc... really annoying sometimes i guess... i m always self centered... always think of 'me-me-me'.. wat i wan n wat i nid.. i have never tot of wat other ppl think n nid.. aiks.. n my mouth always bad mouth at ppl.. which is y i got the nick name 'sei 8 po' recently in class..

after the incident yesterday, i shall keep my mouth shut n keep all the secrets n personal things to myself.. n i wont bad mouth anyone anymore.. trust ppl? LOL.. i wont trust anyone now... except myself.. I myself is the onli one i can trust now... its always better to have a limit to wat n to how far i trust someone now... dun wanna get something like tat happened again... ever!

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Driving n Having Sex

Driving n sex...

tis looks like something cool.. lol.. n no! noti ppl.. i noe wt u all are thinking.. i m not gonna talk bout sex in the car...hehe.. a lot of ppl once told me.. when u go to dark places.. like hill, car park etc.. there is a car park there.. n it starts to shake n shake.. move around... theres some action going on in it.. LOL.. but unfortunately.. i wont go into tat today..

tis is wat i wanna say.. have u guys ever tot tat driving can be also link to sex ? tat day while i was driving.. i came up with something like tis :
while i was driving normally...
without any signal(without asking if he cud have sex with u or not),
a car just comes into the lane(he just fucks u)..
u were in shock n quickly break(scared n horrified n was stunned)..
then some will just horn(scream for help or pleasure),
or some will just curse them(starts moaning n asking for more)..
hhmmm.. some might just take on the right lane n just race them(starts to give back services like blowjob or handjob etc)...

wat bout if he just comes into the lane n u werent able to break(u weren't fast enuf to response)
n u bang then car( u had sex with him. or let him just fucks u with injuries or hardcore style)..
either u got hurt or not(pain in private parts or other parts coz of abuse etc)..
ur car sure kena accident(u sure had sex n kena fuck liao)..
tis time where the part the fighting or settling.. choices :
1. say nevermind n just pay back can liao ( nvm.. all we just had fun, pay me some money for the pleasure or be responsible for any consequences if no safety precaution(insurance) is done..)
2. fight (scolding n punches n yellings)
3. police case( report to police lo after kena rape liao)
4. runaway ( irresponsible or scared, then just cabut after sex..)

driving is like having sex...
if u suka n kind hearted, u give him go into ur lane(have sex with him if u are interested n kind hearted)
n sometimes u wan it faster or slower, u just change lane...( go have sex with other ppl if u find the current one not satisfy)
speed all the way n have pleasure showing off n face the consequences( have lots of sex with lots of ppl n showing it off n face the consequences of getting a sexual disease)
traffic jams ( nobody likes to wait n stay put n not getting any action)
expensive n nice cars ( good looking n rich where lots of ppl likes to lay eyes n hands on)
and there are always the case where they say the car kisses ur ass..
hhmmmm... any more ideas? haha.. i still can continue down the list but i do not have the time for now.. lol.. adios amingo! hope u guys enjoyed it...

Monday, September 24, 2007

I LOVE YOU!!!!!

怨怨相报何时了?又何必呢?
HAHAHAHA... y do we have to fight n hate each other n piss each other off?? its like a circle.. it wont end.. so... now i wanna change my hatred to love.. i wanna love all of u...

its fate tat the God let me meet u.. no matter hu u are... so i wud like to love u... instead of hate u or piss u off... learn to treat others good... no matter how they treat u... n just tahan 忍 or in eng, be patient with it... no matter how long.. u will be rewarded in the end... but i m not saying tat u are treating other ppl so good bcoz u wan a reward from tat... just treat ppl out of ur heart.. ur sincere n kind heart.. ^.^

love is the greatest power of all.. or like whitney's song.. the greatest love of all.... LOL .. ok.. it doesnt suit here.. lol.. but i like the song..

so.. i love u!!! my family, my relatives, my best fren, un couer, my close fren, my good fren, my classmates, my work buddies, my teachers, my enemies(i think there wud not be any now since i chose to love u)... n anyone out there!!!!

I LOVE YOU!!!!!! MUACKZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz!!!!!!

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Fuck u!!!!

Fuck u! if u judge a book by its cover!
Fuck u! if u tend to play around with other ppl's feeling
Fuck u! if u think tat u r so good tat onli good looking n rich ppl are compatible with u
Fuck u! if u just ignore ppl
Fuck u! for being so annoying
Fuck u! for being such a pussy
Fuck u! for being so cocky
Fuck u! for hurting ppl's feeling
Fuck u! for being selfish
Fuck u! for being a playboy
Fuck u! for being a liar
Fuck u! for breaking promises tat u made
Fuck u! for hitting ppl as u like
Fuck u! for being so demanding
Fuck u! for forcing ppl to do things they dun like
Fuck u! for being late always
Fuck u! for leaving me alone when i needed u most
Fuck u! for all these craps!

Fuck u! Fuck U! Fuck u!

tis is for me, u, n ppl hu thinks tat he is the one concern...

Friday, September 21, 2007

New hobby

Hhhmmm...
recently i feel like i nid to change my focus to other things.. which i had said in my post earlier on.. now my new hobby is reading!!!! LOLx...

today.. i found out tat i got a lot of books which i havent read...
16 cao zhi zhong comic books...
4 diff books of moral values with 4 dif teachings : Buddhism, Taoism, Chan, Ru
2 comic books on art of sun tzu
1 book on art of sun tzu
1 book on econs : more sex is safer sex (fren)
1 story book of a gay teen life (fren)

OMG... so many books suddenly.. n my god bro just gave me a link which got unlimited comic books!!!

hhmmm.. suddenly i have the urge of going to starbucks or some place with nice environment and sit down have a cup of coffee and read the books... n perhaps have my laptop on too... WOW.. tis is life man!!!

tml , sat, sun.. 3 days.. but where can i go ?? aiks... no car.. lazy to drive.. where to go??? cham...

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

SIENZZZZzzzz

Sienz.. everyday come oso like nobody visit geh...
coz no reply or give comment.. macam write liao = no write.. waste gas.. haiz... sienz...

Monday, September 17, 2007

right or wrong?

I have been into diff groups... lots of events.. lots of groups... either formal groups or informal groups.. countless i shud say... just tat... groups are formed due to a certain reason.. i do not wanna jump into management topics.. so i shud just keep it short..

groups are formed bcoz of a lot of reasons , for examples interest, objective, hatred, fashion etc... always there wud be ppl against each other in certain point of view.. tats y there are the existence of diff groups.. once, i was in a chatroom.. there are groups there.. i can say tat i m on which side.. but i can see tat.. group A wud say A is da best n group B is not as good... vice versa... or A might hate B, vice versa.. but hu is right n hu is wrong? hhmmm...

actually it depends... depends on a lot of things.. ur point of view, ur objectives n hu u r... of coz there are a lot of other factors.. hu are heroes? hu are villians? hu are there to be categorise them? every party or ppl acts on their own.. for example, spiderman vs venom... hu is da villian? a lot of u might say its venom.. but i wud say neither.. both work as their own.. for their own.. spiderman is to fulfill his responsibility towards da town.. venom is bcoz he wans his job.. ok.. i might say tat venom is kinda lost in there.. but hu doesnt ? even spiderman had been lost countless times.. but y is he still da hero? think bout it... tis is bout point of view n objective..

hhmmm.. here comes another one.. da time factor..
in da primary school :" sex?! OMG !!! hamsup!! *piak piak*'
in da secondary school :" sex? woo hoo.. interesting.. good.."
in college : " sex? hot!! cool.. or i m bored with it.. or its very dangerous..or its very painful"

see the evolution when we gets older? nothing is good nothing is bad.. even sex!
anything is good or bad? right or wrong? now.. my answer wud be 'depends'... how u look at it.. n extreme or the amount of it.. small amount of drugs is good.. but a huge amount is deadly.. certain amount of fire can benefit ppl but out of control of fire can be life taking..

so? wat is wrong n wat is right??? think again..

Saturday, September 08, 2007

Focus on something more important...

Being love is a good thing.. but by the person tat u dun like or the person u have no feel its a bad thing.. bad for the one hu loves n being love... vice versa.. there are a lot of ppl around me tat tells me how tis guy/girl treats him/her... all the romantic things u can think of n kenot think of.. i always wanted someone to do tat to me... but too bad i dun have such luck n life.. or the timing is not right.. watever it is.. it sure sounds tempting to be loved by someone n those romantic things or even lil things they do to u... but now.. i think i shall move out from the dream n start to think realistic things..

now i shall change my perspective or attention towards my studies or career.. recently i had thought bout a few choices that i might be making for my own life... i shall list them down.. hehe..

1. laze around n go tru college with auto-pilot mode
2. study hard n go to Paris after my degree, n hopefully get a job n settle down there.. which i wud have to prepare early from now...
3. do part time jobs n own a house or a car(most probably) while studying my degree..
4. study part time some professional cert ( ACCA or CFA) while i continue with my full time in KBU.. which i wud be working part time as well to pay my school fees..
5. do some internship between my 1st n 2nd year of degree in Pg or Sarawak n get some info there.. i might be moving out of KL.. i had thought bout it..
6. work after degree? or do my masters/ prof cert after degree? hhmmm... normally for ppl as poor as me, it wud be work after degree.. to get exp n money.. then onli do part time post grad programmes.. but here or pg or sarawak or kl or johor or singapore or paris or germany or uk or australia? i wud like to move out from kl... perhaps for a period of time.. short or long... i duno.. i just wanna get away from kl.. tats all..

i shall say tat i wan to put all my attention in my studies n career now.. so wherever there is chance n opportunity, i will go there n get it.. even if i have to work part time jobs or late nites.. i will give my best at striving the goal..

drunk? :x

Hhhmmmmm.. wat i wan??

y m i so emotional n make all my frenz turn away from me ???!?!?!??! haiz.... its in my blood tat i like to hit ppl or bite ppl... any frenz hu din kena b4? means tat we are not close enuf.. hehe... well... lets just say tat its the reason y i m left back with so few frenz... i changed a lot.. from the past.. but sometimes i just ... basic instinct.. haiz.. bad me...

m i too self centered ? hhmmm.. y m i making such a big deal when u did not reply me or treat me like a shit... its just a normal thing... i shud get used to it.. n.. i have much more important stuff to focus on now...

tot bout it... i shudnt do things or be emotional because of someone.. n i shudnt live my life bcoz of someone n care too much bout wat other ppl think n how other ppl treat me.. I MUST LIVE MY OWN LIFE!

now the most important thing or goal i shall focus on is CFA, degree with 1st class honours, a car, money.... SCREW RELATIONSHIP! i have been alone n single for 19 years n i still can survive with it alone... so y cant i be alone for the rest of my life?! hu nids relationships to survive!?

hahaha... the post was written after i had half a dozen of beers... wat they say is right, when u r down, watever alcohol oso cant get u drunk... haha... Here i come , my career n study!

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

degree lo..

Start degree liao lo!!!! woo hoo!!!
hahaha.. damn fun man...

aiks.. now cham liao lo.. i m known as one of the 3 monkeys or lil devils in my class.. LOL.. damn fun though.. hehe... must add oil in degree liao!!!

gonna do accounting n finance.. although i wanted to do econs n finance.. LOL.. but my college onli offer tis.. so nvm la.. hehe.. hhmmm.. PERHAPS gonna take up the professional cert for financial analyst.. which is the CFA - Chartered Financial Analyst.. tis is a pro cert like ACCA de.. but tis is a 3 years program.. lol... equivalent to the MBA.. hehe.. hhmmm... statistic shows tat there is onli 8% tat enter the program got the cert... FUN? CHALLENGING? i duno.. but i wan it! LOLx..

or perhaps not.. maybe a MBA will do.. lolx... duno yet.. but tat is something really nice...

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

T.T

I can't afford to lose u... i m just too weak to do so...
dun leave me will ya?
i promise tat i will be guai guai..
i promise tat i will not be angry with u.. not xiao qi..
i promise tat i will not nao gai again...

just dun leave me will ya ?
i miss you....

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Perfect person?

" True love won't come by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly"
- Roland gor-

haha.. tis is something i quoted from roland gor.. blek.. i totally agree with the things he says.. often.. i find ppl looking n searching high n low just for tat perfect person.. but the chances of meeting tat someone is just toooooooooooooooooo low.. lol.. i wud say.. they wud often look n fantasize for someone tat is perfect.. so i wonder how many 'perfect person' are there out there waiting for u to be explore?

hhmmm.. then have u ever tot bout urself ? are u the 'perfect person' for tat 'perfect someone' out there?? wat i m trying to say is tat.. instead of looking for tat 'perfect person' out there.. u must learn to become a 'perfect person'.. i noe the phrase tat goes.. nobody is perfect.. n i agree with this.. but not totally.. why? bcoz when u c someone tat is imperfect n appreciate watver he does n cherish it.. n be happy with it.. tat imperfect person will be the perfect person for u.. but then u also wud have to do ur part well.. u must have self confident n be happy.. n appreciate watever n whoever u have.. n cherish them.. n try to do ur best in everything.. find watever tat interest u.. n make the best of it.. then there wud be a glow.. a light .. in u.. tat shines n attracts other ppl to look at u..

so.. tis makes the saying 'relationships are 2 ways communication' worth while.. u must make urself perfect.. n learn to look at others perfectly.. or some wud say tat 'love is blind' .. lol.. other ppl might see him very bad.. but in ur eyes.. he is the perfect one.. n tis is wat makes relationship works... u can say tat tis is love.. but love is something too vague for the human mind n human language to understand.. but it happens everywhere everytime to everyone.. learn to believe... learn to trust.. learn to look at things differently.. learn to be happy.. learn to see someone imperfect perfectly.. ur life wud be a lot happier.. i PROMISE!

Dear Bloggie...

Dear bloggie...

I have lost confident in myself.. again... haiz.. i duno wat i have done is right or wrong... i was lost.. hhmmm.. perhaps.. i made a HUGE leap in front.. which i hurt myself n burden other ppl.. i shud have took small steps.. n step by step.. hehe.. i have tot bout running away from the problem.. i tried.. LOL.. bad me... by avoiding it... hhmmm... suddenly.. it strikes me.. i must be ready n man enuf to handle anything myself.. but not run away from it.. well... watever i run away from now.. i will lose any opportunity tat i might regret in the future.. n it will come back to haunt me perhaps later in my life.. i will have to deal with it once n for all... so i chose to start with telling no lies.. hehe.. i apologies to tat person.. n ask to start to get to noe each other again.. LOL... tis sounds lame.. but it really does help me.. any relationship tat starts with lies will never last long.. honesty is the best policy.. like wat i had said in 'faith n trust'... i will spend as much time as possible with tat person to get to noe tat person well..

hhmmm... but not matter how long u have noe a person.. it doesnt mean tat u noe wat tat person is about.. n wat he is thinking.. perhaps he is confused himself... hhmmm..lets make something simple... someone kisses u n says tat he loves u.. but then the next day he wud tell u tat both of u are just very close frenz n will stay tat forever.. in addition.. he tells u tat he is tackling someone else.. haha.. to me.. i think he is very confused indeed.. perhaps he nid some care but just got confused with his feelings.. tats all.. lol.. in this case.. i dun blame him.. if tis ever happens to me.. LOL.. Roland gor always tells me, ' be optimistic n come wat may' watever happened, happens for a reason... we must stay optimistic n look at the brighter side.. bcoz everything on earth have a few 'faces' .. its just the matter of point of view, the way u look at it... so i chose to be happy n grateful to watever n whoever i have..

hhmmm... sometimes.. i wan someone to listen to me.. someone to talk to me.. but fate.. either the timing is wrong or no one is there to listen to me.. so i often talk to my pets.. it really helps.. they seem to understand i m talking.. n give me responses.. although they did not say anything.. but the cute lil look on their face wud just comfort me.. bcoz i noe someone is listening to me.. hehe.. i noe it sounds crazy.. but i bet someone out there.. someone.. hu had talk with their pets b4 rite?? sometimes when i talk to some animals or tell my frenz bout me talking to my pet.. they wud just think tat i m crazy.. lol.. but i m happy with wat i m doing.. n i enjoy it.. so i dun care watever u think or say.. as long as i m happy n it doesnt harm anyone.. tats wat it matters after all.. rite ?

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Nite's out

Last sat.. me n my siblings n cousins went for a dinner nite out.. we went to a restaurant call 'Jake's CHarbroil Steak' .. damn nice.. at Medan Damansara there.. hehe..got another outlet at Starhill.. here is some of the things we ate..

Escargot Bourguignonne - RM 19 for 1/2 dozen..


Mexican Nachos - RM 15.90


Bombay Steak - Aged Sirloin(200gms) - RM 45.90


Aust. Grain-fed Sirloin (200gms) - RM 48.90


Carpet Bag ( Oyster and Bacon etc) - RM 88


Black Pepper Steak - Aged Sirloin(200gms) - RM 45.90


Aust. Grain-fed Beef Fillet of Spare Rib in BBQ Sauce (200gms) - RM 58.90


Aust Grain-fed Porterhouse (min 380 380gms) - RM 69


Cheese Cake - RM 9.90


Country-Style Hot Apple Pie Alamode - RM 8.90


Nutty Pecan Pie Alamode - RM 12.90


Chocolate Fudge Brownie Alamode - RM 8.90

the chef recommendations are Crispy Potato Skin (with crunchy vegetables, smoked beef & cheese) - RM 7.90 and Aust. Wagyu Beef.. prices range from RM162-188
after tat.. we went to Plaza Damas's Chill Bar for a drink.. we notice tat the glass tat they use is not straight.. slightly to another side..


Blue Lagoon which i ordered.. glass is slanting to one side..


those drinks we ordered...

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Faith n Trust

faith (fāth)
1. Confident belief in the truth, value, or trustworthiness of a person, idea, or thing.
2. Belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence.

trust (trʌst)
1. reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.
2. confident expectation of something; hope.

Hhmm.. these two words.. sounds similiar.. sometiems i dun even noe how to differentiate it.. but the main point of this post is not it.. its about faith n trust..

Yesterday a fren of mine told me about his lover had sex with another one.. ist been on his mind for quite a while.. he tells me tat he duno wat to do..n he still loves his lover.. but he cant accept tat all these way he has been holding on to the faith for not betraying the lover instead the lover betrayed him.. he told me tat he knew it from the msn history.. hhmmm.. so its not from the lover's own mouth.. so i tot to myself.. since he is suffering.. he is asking for my help.. wat shud he do.. i told him tat.. watever i say, its always hard to listen.. it is bcoz he has made up his mind subconsciously.. but in his conscious mind.. he din noe wat he shud do.. so watever i said, he wud give excuses n everything.. saying tat its 1 year relationship.. i said.. so wat if its a one year relationship or 10 year.. its the same.. if u have lost faith n trust in him.. the relationship wont last long.. even if the lover tells him tat he did not have sex..will he believe ?

its all in the faith n trust.. all relationships are based on faith n trust.. we must trust the other half if we wanna maintain a long n good relationship.. in this case, if my fren ady have a subconscious mind tat the lover betrayed him, no matter wat the lover says, he will still thinks tat he betrayed him.. even they got back together, he will onli suffer as tis will be imprinted in his mind forever.. he will be more suspicious of the lover.. n tis will come to a break point sometime in the future.. same goes with the opposite, if he really trust him.. then even after reading the msn history, he wud think its ridiculous tat the lover betrayed him... n even if he ask the lover, watver the lover says.. even if the lover says he relaly betrayed him.. he wud say Nvm.. coz he trust the lover its just an accident or anything.. perhaps its something went wrong between both of them.. so he will try to figure out n fix it.. meanwhile will forgive him.. n have faith in the lover tat the lover will come back to him n be loyal to him.. but tis doesnt apply when the lover goes out hunting for sex etc one after another.. wat is greater than the power of forgiving rather than throwing temper at them.. have u ever tot tat why he went out ? maybe bcoz its something happened between both of u but u dun realise it ? so figure it out n fix it.. no matter wat happen.. it happens for a reason n the cause of it often relates to u, urself..

another incident is wat my lecturer told us.. actually the moral value is not bout trust n faith.. but it oso can be link.. ^_^ the story goes like tis.. there is two acrobats.. they are gonna perform a stunt.. one have to hold a LLLOOOONNNNGGG ladder while the other one climbs on top of it.. without any string attached.. the one tat climb up told the one holding the ladder : ' pls take care of me' actually.. tis stories tells us tat.. no matter wat.. we are on our own.. as long as we do our part.. there wont be anything happen.. if the one tat holds the ladder well.. n the one climbs it without tripping or being too shaky.. there wud not be any problem for the stunt to be completed.. we must play our part n roles well in life.. depending on wat situation.. we just suit to tat situation n play tat role well.. just like lecturers n students.. if the lecturer doesnt teach well, even the students are hardworking, i m sure tat the result is not tat good.. vice versa.. but if the lecturer n students work well.. do their part well.. i msure the resuts wud be better!!

the story of the acrobats oso tells tat we must have faith in each other.. ur partner, ur family, ur frenz.. etc.. if the one climbing the ladder doesnt have faith in the one holding it.. he wud just be too scared to do the stunt or might create problems to it.. vice versa.. hehe.. it goes the same in relationship as i mentioned above n etc.. a lot of things on earth is based on trust n faith.. we all do have faith tat the sun will continue to rise in the morning n the moon will come out at nite.. tis is wat we all have faith n believe in.. we oso have faith n trust tat our frenz will be still with us no matter wat happens.. n they will come n look for us n still remembers us!

so tis is faith n trust.. its very very very important.. oh ya.. from faith n trust , its being confidence n next power, will, dream etc..

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Perspective

I have watched the 200 pounds beauty.. hhmm.. quite funny n interesting.. we must not forget who we are.. even in watever situation or with anyone.. we are wat we believe.. we must not forget n abandon our family, fren, personalities etc despite of the job or social life or status.. we are nothing without them.. judging someone by its cover is really really bad.. n its kinda like a norm in this world..

Dun judge a book by its cover, dun judge a man by his cock, dun judge a woman by her boobs.. hhmm.. or make it tis way.. dun judge a cock by its size.. ^_^ watever it is.. never ever judge someone by its appearance.. i noe tat the 1st impression is very important.. but beside tat.. there are other qualities in a person tat we must treasure n seek...

net frenz.. hhmm.. i met a lot of them.. i even met lots of unknown frenz.. in a party or gathering or a function.. it is often the norm tat one reacts n communicate the same way in reality n the net world... but if all due of respect.. it doesnt turn out as wat it is expected.. a lot of ppl reacts differently when they are in front of the pc compare with face to face communication.. One may be fluent n quite daring n 'outgoing' in the net but when u go out with him/her, it is the opposite.. he will be very timid n quiet.. or the other way round.. one may be very quiet on the net.. some might say tat he is kinda arrogant.. but when u meet them in real.. its totally the opposite..he is kinda warm n sweet n friendly.. so dun judge a person onli by looking at one perspective.. for instance.. their way of talking..

another one is by their looks n appearance.. there two kinds of rich man based on appearance.. one is the normal one tat goes 'show off' to everyone tat he is very rich.. n another one is like other citizens.. wear normal clothes..or perhpas dirty n untidy clothes.. y ? to hide the truth of being rich ? too damn lazy or not into fashion? u judge it.. LOL.. in relationship or sometimes for jobs, it is often tat ppl look for looks.. they wan a hensam/cute/pretty/nice body shape bf/gf/staff.. i wonder why.. so does tat mean all the not so good looking ones will be single n unemployed?! tis is ridiculous. but its kinda true.. luckily there are still ppl hu look for the qualities in one..

God is kinda fair to us.. nobody is perfect.. if one is good looking.. sure there is something missing in him.. maybe he is stupid? brainless? or stinks.. hu noes. if one is ugly.. sure he is kinda smart or good at singing or have other skills.. special n good skills... like the chinese saying goes 'big boobs(girls) dun have brains' no offence though.. tats wat the saying goes.. i dun deny tat there are a lot of powerful n great women out there.. so dun u dare to judge someone by looking at one perspective.. u must seek n c the whole person from different angle..

hhmmm.. u must be confident in ur self. the chinese always says 'God bring u to this world for a special reason, u have ur own part to do in this world'.. everyone is useful n attractive in a particular way.. some in a lot of ways.. tis doesnt mean tat u wait for the God to decide everything for u.. u must work hard in watever u do.. to attract ppl n b more useful to the society.. hu noes wat u might do to other ppl with just a simple thing.. believe in urself.. i m sure tat someone agrees with u.. i always believe tat i m cute n smart n attractive in a way.. HAHAHHAHA.. some might agree some might disagree.. HECK CARES!! LOL.. i believe in myself n i do my best in wat ever i do.. n sometiems give more than tat.. n be happy.. tis is life.. ^_^

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

lecture..

yesterday chatted with R for quite a while.. then i broke down again... i cried.. i felt weak n lonely... of coz.. R is there again.. ask me to be strong.. i m human.. i feel weak too.. but i will try to be strong.. i m not the desmond i used to be.. i nid to be strong to handle everything..

Even the strongest hunk in the world will have his hard times n lonely times.. just tat he din let anyone else see it onli.. we are human.. we have feelings, emotions n ways of thinking.. so its not wrong to be sad or lonely sometiems.. just dun feel tat always.. always think of the positive.. u r allow to be sad n weak n lonely onli if u get over with it n be strong again.. its just like a motivation or stress release for u.. one must handle sadness n loneliness well.. it must be just a flick of mind.. tats it.. then move on with ur life.. be happy .. stay tat way..

The saying goes.. the sun n moon will continue to set n rise no matter how sad or how lonely u are... there is no one in the world who is so powerful n important to make the sun or moon stop rising n setting.. everyone have a life to live on, a road to walk on... its how u wan it to be n how u wan to walk it tat matters.. if u are goin to walk tat road anyway.. my as well u just walk it full of happiness.. Ur own destiny, future, life.. everything is in ur hands.. u r the onli one hu can control n change the way u wan it to be.. choose n lead a happy life which benefits everyone around u.. try to bring them laughter n happiness as u wud wish to be treated the same way..

I was told tat i m very emotional very often.. last time i tot ... wat the hell.. hu cares.. but now.. i think tat it really matters.. as nobody wan to be with someone who is like a bomb tat wud go off at anytime.. so my frenz gets lesser n lesser.. the relationship with my buddies getting futher apart.. hhmm.. tis struck me when i met with someone hu is equally as emotional as i m.. just blow off any moment.. tis moment he might be sweet talking to u. the next he wud just blow at u n start to scream at u.. the feeling sucks.. i hate it.. so tis is wat they say 'u attract those who are same as u' .. i realise the importance of frenship lately n keep wondering why everyone is leaving me or just i cant get someone sincere enuf.. until i met this guy.. he is a good guy actually.. but just his emotions.. i m starting to change my emotions.. n learn how to control them.. i must treat others the way i wan them to treat me.. stop complaining n nagging bout why the things happened.. things happened for a reason.. so just get over it n find the problem n ffix it.. dun just stop there.. everything n everyone is changing around us. we must be able to change to adapt the to situation.. in order to survive in this scary world out there.. i admit tat its a scary world out there.. learn to treat others the way u wan them to treat u.. n learn to defend urself.. stay positive n work hard on watever u pursuit n be alert to changes so u can adapt to it very fast n nice..

ok.. enuf for the crap today.. tune in for more.. if u wan..lolx...

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Tagged by Erin..

Awwww... had been tagged N times but tis is the 1st time doin it.. hehe.. too lazy.. but i m too bored now.. so just give it a try.. so here it goes..

WARNING!! the contents below are for ppl 18 & above, if u feel discomfort, pls dun read tis post.. blek..

Attachment 1: On the Outside
Name: Desmond Lai
Nickname: Lychee, Des Zai, Cutie, Pig, Oi (duno y a lot of ppl call me tis..) etc
Birth Date: 13th April 1988
Current Status: Single ( anyone interested pls leave a msg or PM me.. feel few to drop by)
Eye Color: Dark Brown
Hair Color: Black with a patch of Red/Brown in front (duno y its still there since my last dyed in Feb)

Attachment 2: On the Inside
My Heritage: Chinese, Hakka
My Fears: Flying Cockcroach, Reptiles,Heights, Being Fat >.<>
My Weaknesses: Emotional, Think too much, Dual Personality
My Perfect Pizza: Any Pizzas which is not spicy n with lots of CHEESE!!!

Attachment 3: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow
My first thoughts waking up: OMG!!! classes n be a driver again..
Daydreams: Become smart n charming
My bedtime: Have lots of sleep n sweet dreamz...

Attachment 4: My Pick
Pepsi or Coke: Coke (actually i dun like soft drinks)
McDonald's or Pizza Hut: McDonald's (provided that they have special promotions or food)
Single or Group Dates: Single if the date is HOT n i m attracted to my date, Group if the bunch is crazy people like me where i will talk n laugh non stop & relax..
Adidas or Nike: Petaling Street aka Fakes :p
Tea or coffee: or Me...
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate!!!!
Staying home or going out: Depends
Girl or boy as your child: Doesnt matter as long as they are mine ^_^

Attachment 5: Do You...
Smoke: Socially.. (dun whack me >.< )
Curse: Of Course!! wanna hear some ? Fark, Sark, Diu, WTF etc... hehe..
Take a Shower: Duh... Hu doesnt..
Have a Crush: Ops :x PnC..
Go to School: Is College a School ?
Want to Get Married: Not that Important.. Life Partner with or w/o is fine with me..
Believe in Yourself: Yaya
Think You're a Health Freak: NOPE.. blek..

Attachment 6: In the Past
Drink Alcohol: Drank, Drinks, will Drink.. ^_^
Gone to the Mall: 3 days a week.. or more.. ;p not like i m a shopaholics
Been on Stage: Yaya.. Like the feel..
Eaten Sushi: My Fav recently..
Dyed Your Hair: Yuppy.. Dun mention >.<

Attachment 7: Have You Ever...
Been in a relationship: Err... >.<" Ya...............
Step on someone's nuts: O.o sure it will be painful >.<
Kicked at someone's nuts: Not Kick but Punch?
Told a boring story: Always..
Burnt the house: Nope.. n not planning to..

Attachment 8: Age You're Hoping to...
Get Married: 30 ?
Get a child: 30 ? LOLx or perhaps adopt.. ;pN
Get into a relationship: Now wud be nice.. ^_^


Attachment 9: What You Were Doing
A Minute Ago: Breathing... hehe.. singing..
An Hour Ago: Watching Porn.. Ops :x animal porn aka documentaries of animal having sex
Nine Hours ago: Sleeping n Dreaming ( wet ones ? ;p )
A Month Ago: OH i remember!!! SLEEPING!!!!!!!!
A Year Ago: Sadly, i wud have to say SLEEPING again..

Attachment 10: Finish The Sentences
I love: you ops :x
I feel: Horny *shy*
I hate: sleepless nites..
I hide: my private part nicely ^_^
I miss: you, you and you..
I need: You, Love, Money, and to be Smart ^.^

Attachment 11: Tag Other People
Everyone that reads this.. blek.. ngek ngek.. i m evil..

Homemade garlic bread.

this is how u make ur homemade garlic bread..
just grab a stick of french 'baguet' or however u spell it.. u noe the stick like bread which is hard where u can get from carrefour or deli france.. cut it into slices like the pic shown
prepare the spread.. which is chopped garlic with chopped parsley mix with butter.. make sure the butter is soft.. if not u wud be having trouble to mix it n spread it onto ur bread..
this is the bread after u baked it in the oven for 3-5 minutes.. 200 celcius degree... add in some cheese if u wish to.. ^^

Noodles..

ok.. this is the 2nd part of the homemade noodles.. ^_^

tis is the noodles i made.. ready to be served..
this is me frying some ingredients.. such as butter, garlic, bacon, ham, mushroom etc...
tis is where i add in some cream.. to make the sauce...
add in some salt n pepper for taste n simmer it until thickens..
pasta with the sauce i made.. ^_^ add some cheese n parsley for garnishing..tis
if pasta doesnt suit u.. u can try making the chinese one.. 'pan mee' just boil some water with prawns,pork,wantan,bacon,cockles,carrot etc... add some salt n pepper n some fish oil to taste.. add in vege if u like it.. n WALAH... its done.. there is no rule of wat u wan in ur noodles.. remember.. its UR noodle.. so add in wat u like.. ^_^




Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Pets

For those that know me.. i like pets.. n i have own some pets... hehe.. i had owned a tortoise, some fishes, hamsters and guinea pigs.. guinea pigs are the current one.. ^_^ i have owned them for about 6-7 years.. start off with 2.. a couple.. then give birth to 1, then 3, then 5 then......the record was 25 guinea pigs in my house.. lolx..n now left back 5.. some died n some are given away.. they are quite intelligent animals.. they wud 'call' for u when they are hungry or the time for food.. if they smell food or hear anything related to food.. they wud be biting the cage or waiting there to be fed.. very cute animals indeed.. they dun eat rotten or bad or cheap vege.. they choose vege to eat.. if u give them cheap ones, or with ferterlisers.. they wud just dun eat them.. smart... lolx.. but my favourite pets wud be golden retriever.. well.. my dream pets.. lolx..which is shown in the pic below..
The pic below is my onli male guinea pig.. his name is Rudolph.. n my feet of coz.. :P
then tis is Pikachu.. the oldest female.. mother of all.. ^_^
then the 1st born.. Cinnamon.. the fattest oso.. n oso born on the 1st day of CNY oh..
the next one wud be Raffles.. a cutie..
The last one wub be Darwin.. the one eye jack.. blind on one eye.. born like tat.. duno why.. but a very cute one oh..

Monday, May 21, 2007

Supper..

okok tis is wat i had for supper just now.. u guys might noe tat i like to eat.. n i just like to eat anything.. so watever i can get in the kitchen.. i just put all inside the pot.. lmao.. so tis is one of the 'master piece'.. it looks awful.. but it sure taste good.. n fattening.. lol..

1st of all.. lets intro the ingredients.. which is the noodles i made, cheese, chicken cream soup n some twisties(optional)..

tis is the one withot twisties.. u nid to add some colouring on it.. like some herbs or green stuff... to garnish it.. herbs i wud recomment thyme or oregano..dun ask y.. i duno.. just the taste match.. hehe


okok.. now is the one with the twistie .. now u can get more kou gan.. can munch a lil.. hehe..

thank you

Thx for scolding me..
Thx for letting me noe tat i m very naive..
Thx for letting me learn tis lesson..

i m really glad tat i had put u down.. duno if i did.. but now i feel lighter.. but u will remain as a memory in me.. maybe now i m not suitable to be in any relationships yet..
but i m happy tat u scold me.. i m really thankful tat u scold me.. okok.. may sound stupid n crazy.. lol.. but i dun blame u.. its my fault.. hehe.. thx for everything..

take care my fren n good luck..

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Honeydew Sago

OkOk.. now its dessert time.. the look doesnt look tat nice.. but some of u might try it b4.. lol.. its honeydew sago.. lol..



this is the water.. which is panda leaves n santan n sugar water..














the sago... i had used green colour tis time..













the honeydew.. cut into small pieces.. but u can change to other fruits..










tis is the outcome.. looks ugly but taste good.. lol..

if u wan u can add in some gula melaka to make it taste better n more aroma.. lol...

Homemade Noodles..

Well.. this is not the 1st time i made my own noodles.. hehe.. but i just took some pics to show u.. it took me bout 3 hours plus to make the noodles... ALONE.. 1KG of flour.. which is a LOT!!! n TIRING... but the outcome pays off.. hehe.. although it doesnt look tat good.. hehe..





after lots of hard work n strength used.. this is the dough which i had knead it into balls.. easier for me to make it into noodles later..










Add some flour to knead when u wanna roll them out n cut them..













roll it in the machine.. haha.. keep rollin rollin.. until its smooth













then u will end up something like this.. long n thin piece of dough.. or watever u call it












then cut it.. hehe.. i m making fettucini , chinese version is 板面

















WALAh... tis is it... my home made noodles.. ^_^

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

frenz..

i just wanna be frenz!!! tats all!! so hard to understand?!

now i dun wan anymore relationships.. just wan to be frenz with u...
perhaps for now.. coz i m not ready for any relationships..
mentally not ready yet.. hehe.. just hope to be frenz with u.. n c the things out..
pls.. as a frenz.. nobody wud avoid a fren unless he hates him.. so if u dun.. dun avoid me pls..

Saturday, May 12, 2007

海螺,种种的思念和愿望

今天又到了海螺去听歌..很享受这种感觉和气氛...也很怀念一起唱歌,一起在海螺聊天的时刻..
还记得去年的生日有了场生日派队在哪里..好开心,好怀念!!朋友们,我好想念你们!!

很喜欢听歌,尤其是现场的...很喜欢来海螺...每次不开心时,来这里就会心情开朗些..最近都常来..
有谁肯时常陪我坐在海螺那里听歌呢?就只是纯粹的听歌和一点点的谈天...没有谈天也无所谓..haha
刚才突然想到一些东西..好想和喜欢的人时常来这里..好想被喜欢的人抱着聊天时他偶尔唱歌给我听..每天都这样也无所谓...突然也很想念以前一起练歌和唱歌........

*大猪猪,谢谢你的陪伴和对我不离不弃!
*我的朋友们,回来好吗?我好想念你们...

Thursday, May 10, 2007

expectations..

i tot i had done well enuf to score it.. but i think i did not do enuf..
i expect to score it.. even with the minimum marks to just score it.. coz i wan it badly..
i think not badly enuf i think.. n i m not putting all my 101% into it..
the higher the expectations, the bigger the disappointments..
it really hurts... i cant focus when i m driving home just now..
my mind just went blank when i saw it.. couldnt believe it..
couldnt believe tat i hadnt score for the subject i m most interested in n most confident one..
i guess i just have to accept the fact tat i m just not tat good.. or i m just too lazy...
BUT I STILL CANT ACCEPT IT YET!!!!!!!

*eating chocolate as my lunch.. chocolate can calm oneself n makes someone happy.. but tis time.. it din work..*

expect the unexpected next time.. u wud be happier.. n dun put too much expectations in something.. u will get hurt..