你舍得吗？

原来这一切都是我搞出来的。。。我不知道你是酱想的。。。其实我也有同感。。。这个‘家’ 没有我和你。。。以前我只是在乎他。。。现在。。。我不再为他了。。因为他没有为这想过。。。可能就是我们两个并没有成为知己的缘分。。。可能就是我一厢情愿罢了。。我时常想我对他很好而他没有对我有什么。。。时怨他。。。现在我终於明白了。。。他并不想。。。只是不要令我失望而已。。。短暂的人生里真希望有他做我的知己。。。很想很想。。可是我没有酱的福份。。真想停下休息。。和他在清静舒适的环境下像以前般聊天。。不能了解他。。或许注定我不能了解他。。原来我和他是两世界的人。。永远都不能成为我想象中那样。。

而你。。。说要放手。。你舍得吗？你有执着过吗？我知道你很想把我们弄成你正正的一个‘家’。。。不是好像我们现在酱。。。我们可能没有当你为很要好的朋友。。。可是问心一句。。。我有当你为朋友。。。真心的。。。不要为了一时的冲动而导致以后的后悔。。。让一切顺其自然吧！你说过。。。是你的就是你的。。。不是你的就不是你的。。。如果我们是有缘的。。。就继续这友谊吧。。。如果没有。。。就只好把我们经历的一切当成回忆。。。永远藏在心中。。。正如我说。。。一切就把它放在你我的心吧！有些事情将它埋起来效果会很好。。。但别把一切受在你心中吧！别把它跟他们说。。。因为这会带来很多麻烦。。。

你要保重啊！往后的日子没有我在你身旁，你要好好照顾自己啊！

执着

一起游玩。。一起作伴。。一起到厕所。。一起吃东西。。一起到处ponteng。。看到对方会兴奋。。拥有聊不完的话题。。对方的缺点全都不介意。。这些都已变成了回忆。。只能珍藏、珍惜。。。

为了这一切。。我给人笑。。给人说笨。。给人说是性趋向有问题。。给人骂。。难道我为了这份友谊所付出的都有错或用错方法吗？为这而执着酱久是错的吗？

原来。。我做的这一切带来了麻烦给你。。令你觉得有压力和烦恼。。久而久之。。你已觉得我开始反感了。。游玩？厕所？吃东西？不再一起了。。看到我等於没看到。。话题不再有了。。对我也不再一样了。。。

友谊。。没有公平不公平。。我不怪你。。可能我想太多了。。可能我变了。。可能你变了。。这些。。。我都不在乎。。。因为我不想再执着下去了。。不想再为你带来麻烦了。。。可能你说我容易放弃。。怨这怨那。。可是我对这份友谊坚持下去的理由已经很模糊了。。我知道你会说我令你感到失望。。。我酱做会很自私吗？我不想酱。。。我想在这短暂的人生里希望你能做我的知己。。很想很想。。可是我没有酱的福份。。。

我们的友谊因此而断开？我不知道。。我想这选择都在你手里。。如果你要就此断开？我无所谓(真心话？不。。我不想失去你。。) 缘起缘灭。。我把一切交给你和佛陀了。。。我会试着和你找回那失去的回忆与快乐。。你时常说：珍惜一切。。把握眼前的一切。。。失去了就别再后悔。。是你的就是你的。。不是你的就不是你的。。。不必强求。。我会试着明白这道理。。把心看开点。。

唉。。。毕业后。。我最不舍得的是你。。最担心的是你。。最放不开的也是你。。朋友啊！朋友。。。不管怎样。。不管你怎样对我。。不管友谊有多深。。我都会把你(们) 放在心里。。永不忘怀。。。因为我和你曾经有过快乐的日子。。

吵架-朋友...

很多时候，两个人时常吵架，他们肯定就是仇家或两个关系很好的人。。分别就是仇家不会或很难和好。。而两个关系很好的人却是表面吵得很热，一转头却嘻嘻哈哈的。。。

两个人，因为有着共同的目标、思想、背景或其他的因素而成为朋友。。。至於关系好坏的程度就看两人的造化了。。。有人说吵架可是种情趣，可以联络感情。。可是两个男的或女的怎么可以说是情趣啊？联络感情？可能吧！就是看两人之间的关系去到哪里吧！因为感情较浅的两个人吵架可能会破坏之间的友谊。。当两个人的友谊到了一定的程度时，吵架可能是家常便饭吧！我说得对吗？

两个感情很好的人时常会因为一些小事情而吵架。。感情越好，吵得越多，为的事情也越琐碎。。电视节目、电影和小说里所谈的‘兄弟情’啦。。。‘姐妹情’ 啦。。。都能出生入死啦。。感情好到可以共穿一条内裤啦。。或共拥有一个另一半啦。。。都是骗人的！！！可能有50%是真的吧。。现实生活中，有哪几个朋友会做到如此呢？？如果有，机会是很少的。。也请珍惜。。可我。。可能就没酱的福气吧！可能你是酱想，未必你的朋友是酱想的！

除此，两人(不论是2男、2女或1男1女)很多都会因为另一半的因素而吵架和感情渐渐淡了下来。。这可能是之前感情过於浓，导致两人经常在一起，而当其中一人遇到另一半时，他没有，也不会再有时间和他的死党像以往一样一起颠了。。这样这死党不多不少也会感觉到被抛弃或妒忌或羡慕的感觉了。。如果这死党思想未成熟，他(死党)就是不会酱轻易放过他了。。而如果这死党思想够成熟，他(死党)就会原谅他对自己所做的一切一切。。

真心朋友就是酱。。。无论对方有多错多坏。。他们还是能原谅对方，在一起和好相处。。还有，两个朋友相处，重要的是对彼此的信赖和尊重。。。有件事很想讲，就是身为朋友，当你遇到挫折时，我们都会站在你身旁给于支持。。无论你的选择是对或错。。选择永远是你的，我们只能给于支持。。但如果你以后想我坦白，就说吧！也没用，因为你都不听我讲的！哈哈。。。我虽然没有这福气，也不知以后会不会有，可是我很高兴有这‘兄弟’。。不管以后日子怎样，你怎样对我。。我还是真心祝福你。。永远快乐。。我也想对我之前幼稚的想法把你弄得痛不欲生致上万分歉意。。(如果你还记得什么事)。。哈哈。。。(有时不是故意弄你的啦。。。也不是有意想惹你生气的。。可是我酱的脾气能做到酱算好吧？？哈哈。。我会改进的！！)

我差点忘了。。。还有水果家族呢！！！谢谢你们的‘照顾’ 和‘爱戴’ 啊！！希望我们以后有缘能再续我们的水果真情啊！！！其他朋友也是！！！谢谢你们一路的支持！！！

Tears...

I m suppose to be studying my sejarah now… but after reading erin’s n kc’s blog… it urges me a lot to write tis blog… as u guys know… I m a very ‘sensitive’ guy… or u can say ‘emotional’ guy… I get happy, excited, sad, cry n angry fast… after reading their recent post… on ‘die=end??’ n ‘Going to miss Chinese New Year next year?’ … tears started to fall… I duno y… I had tried to tahan it on graduation day… but y not tis time?? Tears… its just another way of expressing urself … to somebody..it may also means a way to release…

I had categorize tears into 5 main different tears…
1… tears of joy
- tis kind of tears will flow down when u are VERY happy about something…
- for example.. when u get 1st in some international competition…
2… tears of laughter
- tis kind of tears will flow (actually tis kind doesn’t flow) when u hear or see something VERY funny…
- for example… when u see Desmond falls down bcoz he stepped on a ‘slippery’ dog shit…
3. tears of sadness
- tis kind of tears will flow when u are VERY sad…
- for example… when u hear about someone u noe met with an accident…*touch wood*
4. tears of relieve
- tis kind of tears will flow when u had just overcome something very difficult…
- for example … when u finish ur SPM…
5. tears of sleepy
- tis kind of tears will flow when u yawn or feel very sleepy..
- for example… when u study in the middle of the night n then u yawn…

Tears… sometimes crying is not something girlish to do… sometimes u will feel good after u cried… there are also times when u need to cry alone… n there are also times when u need to find someone u trust n ‘borrow’ their shoulders or back or just beside u to cry…. I heard from somewhere about tears… ‘humans tears significant 执着, 遗憾… ghosts tears significant 重生, 希望….’ How far u believe tis? It depends on u n I will leave tis to ur imagination…

Faith

Faith… is confident or trust in someone or something… having faith in others also means having faith in urself… for example.. having faith in others to do well makes u feel confident that u have made the right choice… it is very important to have faith in someone or something… to me… if u have everything but faith… u will failed in wateva u are doin… even on humans… relationships wont work out if u dun have faith in it…

Recently, I have lost faith in everything I m doing… I have also lost faith in others… sometimes I feel that I hav done nothing but dozens of wrong things… everything I did to make things or relationship happens… I think I had done a bad job… I know that I look short, ugly, annoying… but last time I had convince to myself that it doesn’t matter… but now… I feel that it does…

My relationship with my frenz are great… I can say…. But now… I doubt it… I have 5 very good frenz… one of it is my best… I think… I hope… 6 of us are like a ‘family’… I have no idea when we are called a fruits family…n hu thought of the names??? Hhmmm.. I think its me… haha… I tot I had done a lot to make all tis ‘family’ to keep as a family… but I had lost faith… I felt that it is breaking apart… part by part…. If u see closely… it is…. I think I had done things to make my relationship between me n my ‘best’ fren work out… but I dun think its working… its just like… erm.. I duno… it feels kinda weird… both of us just argue or quarrel non stop for no reasons… things are not like the ‘best’ frenz in movies… sometimes I noe I m being very selfish n immature coz I stops all his freedom…

Besides… doin things…esp in temple… I noe when n where n how to do the stuff… but I just dun have the faith to do it… I just quiet down… its not that I dun wanna help… but I m just…. If u understand me… pls forgive me in tis…(u noe hu u r)… I let others to do… or others to guide me… sometimes…I did the thing half way…then I stop… bcoz I dun have faith in it anymore… haihz… I m really bad…

Haihz… I just lost my self-confidence…. In many things… I duno y I had give up so easily tis time… everytime I do something… I have faith in it….n I hope for miracles to happen… or sometimes some reward…. I noe I shouldn’t hope for reward… but… something in return its just like a feedback for me to let me noe that having faith is something good to do… not something wasteful or just a word… at least let me noe my ‘faith’ bears fruits…

Forgive me, my frenz...

When someone done something wrong, they will do all sorts of things…some are reasonable n some aren’t… some will seek God for apologies or confessions…some will promise the same thing doesn’t happen anymore… some will hurt own self or others… some will ask for guidance…. Some will ‘buy’ Indulgences (learn from sej form 4)… For me.. for certain things… I choose the ancient way – make confessions and seek apologies from the ones I had done something wrong towards them…

1. being grumpy at all times…
2. scolding people for no reasons…
3. teasing people…
4. hitting/punching/slapping people because of small matters or nothing at all…
5. disturbing people every sec, minute, hour, day, week, month n year…
6. nagging on people a lot…
7. doing things without thinking of others feelings…
8. not helping when others are in need…
9. always tell things without str8 4ward…
10. ask too many stupid questions…
11. ‘fight’/ ’argue’/ ‘quarrel’ bcoz of small matters…
12. dun believe in others…
13. lied to others…
14. dun listen to others…
15. dun get wateva u guys are talking about…
16. betray others…
17. being selfish…
18. talk too loud…
19. being childish/immature…
20. crap about stupid things…
21. jealous of something…
22. wakes people up in the middle of the night…
23. being sarcastic…
24. think too much…

I think there is more but I cant think of it… plz help me out with it if u noe anything I did wrong n need apologies… Plz… help me by telling me I m forgiven by u or not… it really means a lot to me… thx… n if possible..pls tell me wat I did to u… so I can recall it easily.. thx… I shall end tis post with a BIG ‘THANK YOU’ n ‘SORRY’ from the bottom of my heart…

Anger

Anger… is a strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence… almost everyone on earth have anger… it is not guilty to be angry at times… but it is the way you show your anger n the number of times it happens that matters… this is where anger management comes in… but in this post, I m not going to talk about anger management because I am one who cant control my anger…so its sarcastic to talk about it…

I had analyze the times that my frenz are angry… the degree of anger is all different… as it is like my previos post ‘smilez’…its just the same thing… but this is just about ‘angry moments’….

Kc…
1. angry when I disturb him every sec, minute, hour, day n week…
2. angry when people tell him something not str8 4ward…which he hav to guess himself…
3. angry when people wake him up for no reason…
4. angry when people juz sit there while others are busy…not helping..
5. angry when people come to his house suddenly n expect him to go out with them…
5. angry when I ask too many stupid questions….
6. angry when ‘fight’/ ’argue’/ ‘quarrel’ bcoz of small matters….
7. angry when I nag on him a lot…

Khee…
1. angry when I dun tell her things honestly…
2. angry when I dun understand wateva she is teaching…
3. angry when she ‘eat dead cat’ ….
4. angry when people lie to her…
5. angry when people ask her things when she r thinking…
6. angry when people around her are not united…
7. angry when she is sleepy...

Erin…
1. angry when I tease her…
2. angry when ‘sim sim’ make bunny ears on her head…
3. angry when she wont get to see us after she departs to Australia…
4. angry when nobody listens to wateva she is talking…
5. angry when she dun get wat we are talking about…

Xuan…
1. angry when people dun giv her wat she wan…
2. angry when eating ‘chicken ass’…
3. angry when other girls prettier than her…
4. angry when I tease her…
5. angry when she dun get wat we are talking about…

Leng…
1. angry when people betray her…
2. angry when people dun respect the frenship they have…
3. angry when she is disturb many times(esp ah liang)…
4. angry when she is chosen for NS…
5. angry when people make fun of her hair…

Angry is a way to show your emotions… n show how u feel about thing…it is a good thing to do sometimes… but over acting it will make matters worse… try to take control of ur anger n let it out at suitable moments…

Changing World...

Nowadays, the world is changing in a very high speed… politically, socially, economically etc… even the mother nature is changing..

Anything its possible to happen… proof? (politic) USA pentagon is being bombed… War had begun between some strong countries… (mother nature) Katrina hits New Orleans… Tsunami hits Asia… (social) homosexual issues are brought into movies n TV programs... Guys are starting to wear pink/purple and use a lot of different cosmetic products… (economy) I had run out of money!!!!!

I would like to drag your attentions to the field – social… I do not know you guys have notice or not… but I tend to realize that there are more n more homosexual issues being brought into the movies n TV programs… Does anybody remember of any shows in the past have this issue? I wouldn’t say none at all…but the amount is VERY little compare to nowadays… I didn’t say that I discriminate homosexuals… what I want to say is that the world is changing vastly n quickly…

Sometimes humans tend to get influence by the TV programs and movies… they think that if two guys or girls are being very close to each other (like buddies), they are homosexual! What in the world are you guys thinking?!?!?!?! If you ask me… the most dangerous n deadly weapon a human have is their mouth… it’s the things that they say which ‘kills’ people….

To me… I m using guy as an example.. if both of them are best buddies… there aren’t any problems if they touch each others hand…I mean not fondling lar…. There aren’t problems if they share saliva’s(not kissing) or stuff (not gf) such as clothes n undies(if relationship is very good) or foods & drinks… they really don’t mind sharing undies actually… haha… There aren’t also any problems if they sleep on the same bed or stay on the same small surface(bench or chairs)… hhmmm… being sarcastic.. there aren’t even any problems if these guys accidentally put their hands or legs on their frenz if they are sleeping… you know… people have dreams or perhaps dream walking… HAHAHA…

Sorry if I had offended anyone with the post above… I just wanna share to you some of my opinions…

Smilez

The thing that really attracts me is a person’s smile…I had seen different kinds of smile in my whole life.. Different smiles under different situations have different meanings… One’s smile can break your heart or melt it… Only the person who are close to you only knows the different smiles u have and their meanings… I had crack my head on evaluating u guys.. hope that I am right…hehe

Kc…
1.smile when you are happy…
2.smile when you are relieved after something tiring or obstacles…
3.smile when something just ‘pop’ into your mind…
4.smile when you get something with ‘maksud tersirat’…
5.smile when you are satisfied after you had your meal or enough sleep…
6.smile when you are being polite…
7.smile when you are up to something ‘evil’
8.smile when everyone around you are happy or praise you…

Yk…
1.smile when you are feeling great…
2.smile when you able to solve your maths calculation…
3.smile when the person around you got the maths calculation you taught correct…
4.smile when you get trust from someone you care…
5.smile when you are up to something ‘evil’

Erin…
1.smile when you are depressed or stress out…
2.smile when you have nothing to do…
3.smile when you have frenz around you that cares for you…
4.smile when you are called ‘dumbo, fuji apple, zhu ling ling’...
5.smile when you don’t understand what your frenz are saying or after you got it..

Xuan….
1.smile when you are feeling happy…
2.smile when you get something you want…
3.smile when you are up to something ‘evil’
4.smile when you are relieve after the exams n results…
5.smile when you did something wrong or stupid…

Leng...
1.smile when you fell safe n happy…
2.smile when you are confident…
3.smile when you did something others cant do…such as DNA mixer(I got sit ar)…
4.smile when you are up to something ‘evil’
5.smile when you are being polite…

smile always… u duno when people will fall for ur charming smiles…. If u smile/laugh for 3 minutes a day.. u will get one extra day of lifetime… but plz… dun laugh every minute everyday..bcoz ppl will think that u r mad… :D

Sleepless yet Happy night...

I really have no idea y I had done it…. Haihz… actually I wanted it to happen… but the timing was a bit… erm… not right… y did we chose the week b4 SPM to do it???i mean ‘I’….y did I chose the ‘right’ timing…

It was kinda fun… actually… relaxing too… do u noe tat humans can be very energetic when u r talking / crapping about the topic u like?? Even if u r VERY sleepy… u wud be awaken or energetic if u are talking to ur close fren about the topic u like the most….

Well… I had try b4 not sleeping at night… erm.. bout 3 or 4 times I think… But tis time I really….really… err…. ‘Sot’ I guess.... Haha… bcoz I had chat / crap with him for the whole night… its not tat we hadn’t seen each others for a very long time… we see each other almost everyday… I m still figuring out y I can tahan so long… haha… I m not saying we are very talkative…or perhaps I m… argh… guys now are more talkative than girls..tis is supported by evidences….

The most interesting part is tat…. We had eat n eat n eat non stop for the whole night… LOL…. We are very small in size… but the amount we can eat is ENORMOUS… my frenz… u shud noe how much I can eat… or perhaps some of u onli… If my memories serve me right… I think tat we had eat some porridge, sundaes, burger, half boiled egg, milo, chocolate cake, ginseng drink ………. I think I had finish the food at his house… hehe…. I promise the next time I come to stay over… I will bring some supplies!!!( if I still have a chance) haha…

Another funny thing was… when I was very energetic… he was very sleepy… but when he was very energetic… I was very sleepy… but the onli 2 times tat we both are in the same mood was… 6am in the morning… which is our sleeping time… n the times of ‘FEAST’… we had NEVER felt sleepy or lazy when it comes to eating… hehe… not to say we are gluttons.. but… we are growing kids… we shud eat more.. haha… we had agreed to wake up at 10am…. But…. We….. ended up waking up bout 12.30noon…hehe..

Ps…erin n yk… u guys really wanna join next time??? U sure bout it?? Can u guys dun sleep till next morning?? Lolx… I doubt it dude….

Grumpy + ....

Hhmmm.. after reading erin’s blog.. n comments from u guys…. It urges me to write a blog…hahahha…

I noe tat I m very grumpy at times… but… does it really SHOW tat much??? T.T… I m so bad… always so bad temper… grumpy.. so guys.. for making u all suffer from my temper..aka ‘lai yeh’ by u ‘smart’ frenz out there..haha.. n kc, I have whisper… thankz for asking me… but tat doesn’t help..i need some ‘medicine’ to help me… for example.. money to get my driving license… or perhaps..u noe wat I wan *evil laughters*…

U guys wud noe tat I had comment or said on tis over n over again..but I still hav to make it clear for u guys… I m NOT gay.. btw…I dun really think tat being gay is a crime… n frenz shouldn’t leave them juz bcoz they are gay… if u r a good fren… or perhaps a ‘gentleman’ or ‘human’ …u shud giv them support… not leave them!!! They are humans too… they have feelings… do u noe tat it realy hurts when they see ppl around them discriminate them?? Try to think urselfà suddenly ur fren n family n community turns away from u… make jokes out of u… its not ur 5 senses tat discriminate… its ur heart tat does.. if u dun wan it to happen… it wont.. it all comes from the heart…

Once… I remember it clearly… I was being fren with another guy.. then ppl started to say we are like gays… n I like him n stuff… then… he started to change his attitude towards me.. he turns away from me…n there… a fren left me… juz bcoz ppl says tat I m gay… but I m NOT… the next year… I made fren with kc… the same thing happens… I really….. I duno wat to say… its really ANGRY!!! Wat did I do in my past life to get rumours like tis?? Well.. as u can see from the comments in my previous post.. kc did try n tot of leaving me… but luckily he didn’t… I can say u r a GREAT fren… indeed… thx for it.. I dun care u had done anything wrong to me… n pls dun say sry n blame urself again.. (din copy from erin)…
Omg.. I m talking bout kc again..actually I m not… my main point is not him…